This morning it was cool, and sunny, just like any good rain.. the sun shines again!

so up i got and made my coffee, sat quietly for an hour, was up at 6am just to give myself time, before waking sleeping , vicious dogs!!

that hour surges by.. like light..

in any event, off we went to met rachel, at TD Bank, my notary of the day.. seen a lot of notaries as of late.. first time i needed a notary, was with mom, and some papers that needed to be signed, looked on google for one in west hollywood, so called him up, he traveled to he could go to the nursing home, and when he arrived, he's chinese , i think, Duke is his name, he walked into the room and said" ROOT" what r u doing here?" Well, like anything like that, should surprise me, but i always am.. surprised. as it turns out, he had a video store mom frequented.. and now duke took up notarizing papers.. i'm still in touch with Duke, can never have too many friends, and he is a good guy, and highly motivated and a seemingly good business man..

as for the notary today... Rachel, she was so sweet and nice, we waited a few minutes, i'd made all the arrangements in about an hour, as i was not informed of this meeting till wed, and had wed, while selling, to arrange, a notary, a name and phone number.. as it turns out.. try throwing me a hurtle or too, while ur all at it.. shit this is ridiculous.. and how about a few hoops too..

anything else? this is why i pay the big bucks!!

so..my lawyers cheeper assistant, thank god, who i've never spoken to.. also good.. $$ .. called me and i called the judge, and they asked me all sorts of questions about the papers, and that i swore i wasn't changing my name for fraudulent purposes!! NO i exclaimed! with in reason, i'm speaking to a judge, by phone at an empty bank, at 9am in what's like a lobby, and lots of sunlight.. where everyone seems a witness..the phone call concludes in less than 5 minutes.. I gave Rachel a pair of up your ear earrings, the least i could do.. as they r free, and heck earrings are better than money..and i have a poster girl wearing my earrings! Thank you Rachel..

Madeline wanted to go to ihop.. the only plan we had.. so off we went, on our way home.. to what clean the camper! as we had breakfast, and i even ate a little.. dong a little thinking i thought i really need to be by the sea today, so what better than take a boat.. whale watching.. we tried it last year, but Andres gave me grief about eating, and i was so pissed off, for the last time, no is no,.. i said that's it, we're off this boat..and when i got to the exit it was already closed, and the man told me i couldn't get off this boat, and i said, i will through him over board, get us off this boat, we were still at the dock.. and off we went, while i ranted and raved all the way back to peters pond, last summer.. so hear we go again.. but it looks like no one ever forgot last year! so after seemingly crazy.. we get the picture.. and the day was truly wonderful, and i was not at the sea but at sea. very calm, took nearly an hour to get way out past the end of the cape, provence town, way in the distance when we came upon the whales.. wait till u c the photos, Andres ran back and forth to see the whales, madeline, found her self at the bow.. naturally, and we all on board became a little family, like people finding each other, or maybe thats just what happened to me, first met a couple with 3 kids who'd moved this year from fl. to cape.. as business in their beach shop in south beach was, a bust after 10 successful years.. and an over priced house in Pembrook Pines.. thanks banks..followed by a very dynamic man, who's name i never got, nor his wife's, who's a chef.. some how we started a conversation over doing what one loves, and he is ecstatic about what he does.. as it turns out he is in catering out of connecticut but cooks all over the country, for huge companies and he proceeded to tell me a story about, once driving, from somewhere in Napa, where early in the morning, he looked over a vineyard, at a row of grapevines as the sun came up..and the sell of freshly crushed grapes.. what a picture he gave.. and about what and where to eat there.. any one who wants to take me to the Brick.. in Napas has got a date!! his description of the place, was out standing, casual, italian, peasant for cocktails, formal dining, i asked immediately what does one where, he said dressed, that sounds like a place i want to go.. where the meals run 250 a head! oh to eat with a great diner, someone who knows food.. and i don't have to cook it!

after deboarding, we proceeded to skippy's for some steamers, where someone had suggested we go for them.. what i found there was an incredibly long wait for 3 hungry people, but decided it was too late for anything else, so while waiting, found this art colony of charming little cottages along a path, near the marina, harbor .. have to say there are no coincidences.. am already looking into getting info.. it is a possibility selling there could be ok.. who knows..

dinner was nice.. we, madeline and i devoured steamers, while Andres nearly had a fit that they put a slice of lemon on his chicken of the sea! oh dear.. whats a girl to do .. i was gonna send it back, but he said, i'm too hungry to wait and managed to get it down.. !! hahahah..

once in the car all bets were off, and madeline had earlier, whilst on the phone a moment, hit him in the head with the car keys, and now the fit over her sweat jacket she'd lent him.. to return, which he was resisting.. i said that's it.. take it off.. !!!wanted to strangle them both.. as we approached the highway 6 Andres had to pee.. what's new.. so i stopped and he jumped out of the car pulled it out and went! boys have it so easy.. works for me as a mom though..

and at camp we arrive, sleeping children.

my dear friend Nancy is getting through her second day of losing her grandson.. i'm assigning myself her personal caller for the next 10 days, someone needs to be there.. so happy i can be.. certainly she has many friends.. but our bond certainly has been a special one. and i love u Nancy.. kiss ur sweet heart.. Bill.. send him my love.. and sentiments..

to all a good night, or morning.. well and count your blessings, i certainly do count mine.. each and everyone.. and still counting.. xoxoxo

Miss Andrea and Crew

where do i begin! there is a frigging fly.. flying all around. u cant see it but he's there..

I awoke this morn to the ring of my phone.. a text.. i was already up about 30mins. just laying there, so peaceful. over cast, lazy, dam i should get up and make coffee.. out my window, low lying balloons hovering over tuffs of grass,and dry dirt.. horrible on shoes, i've spent the summer in my ugliest shoes.. and accidentally left the camp site in them.. the absolute worst. i have this one pair that should have hit the shoe grave yard a year ago.. i call them my driving shoes! they are so hideous at this point! u can't imagine.. and i have this black pair of paten leather looking!! , that i call my hiking heeels!! i wouldn't be caught dead in sneakers or anything of the like! .. the other alternative.. bear feet.. what a peasant!

after coffee, i started to put the bar/booth back in the van as it was drisslin and i wasn't sure how much rain to expect.. i have given up T.V. i cant be bothered.. I did was watch t.v.. morning noon and night time.. especaily after 911..
so much information.. i was up to date on everything.. right now i can only be up to date with us..what's going on in the gulf, as i am going to the shrimp fest,, god help me.. what we are doing, how i am going to do it.. what ever that might be.. I was down today, for the first time in a while, maybe a month.. huh?

got just the boost i needed, thanks barbara.. did itsy, but will look into the other avenues, My website is still under construction, next week we start again, and there is so much to be done.. on a limited budget, it takes forever.. truly.. this sucks.. what i could do with this Up Your Ear business with a little capital.. have been doing this with cash only for all this time.. 18 years.. got a great thing here.. just .. requires a lot more than one person..

one person can not fill out 7 sales tax forms every 3 months, for states i only go to once.. this is ridiculous.. go on line and fill out the boe.. board of equalization, or how about new york, or the worse.. new jersey.. didn't even want to enter the state.. because it .. how about deadlines for shows, combating over working and the crew.. and the shows in california must think artisans can afford $700. shows for a 3 day event... and i sure u it isn't worth 350. saw a show today near where i live.. $950 for 3 days.. r they kidding me? and the ridiculous of the sales tax and each different county.. i'm not a book keeper! i'm an artist.. and i can beryl afford my book keeper Renee who sodeservedlyneeds to be paid .. boy i'm the big complainer... hardly myself.. well i am not really complaining..so much as stating how it is..

too many logistics to focus on the prize..

well that's my take on it..

as for the birthday, andres had a great time with camp friends, and we sat around the fire pit, bob next door supplied nearly all the wood, and amy his wife even wrapped one of my gifts to andres for me.. we hid it over at their place! thanks again for coming.. and sharing.. it was really pretty, with my bar, booth set up.. the little electric tea lights..Clyde and mirina came, thanks to u too.. and madeline put together the legos .. as she had the year before.. bless her, but she loves it also.. glad she is so good at it, as i am not.. more like alfredo, in that respect.. when i see andres take some thing apart.. i always think of jertudes, alfredo's mom.. and the story of how he took everything apart, and back together again.. Andres takes everything apart.. getting it back together again is another story , but he's getting there!

aug. 17

Normally i publish or post.. and then start a new dialogue.. but this time i'm just gonna cont.. yes i could say "going to", for the writers out there! and the readers!! haahha

love when i here from one reader.. privately and can absorb, what u've shared, and put it to practice.. like my swearing!! look how good i've been!! it's just that here, i should be able to.. swear that is.. i try very carefully not to swear, out side of with close friends.. and usually with in their presence, only.. it it really depends who u r as to weather i swear.. so i'll do my best not to just think of the impact it will have later if i do!!

After my glum out look yesterday, i decided to look into a cart at the grove.. might be just possible.. check out the new schedule.. 7 days a week, 10 - 9.. oh know!! will hire staff, thats all there is to it and pray this is a good bet.. either the grove or the farmers market.. love to do both, but don't know if that would work..

just in a panic about returning to l.a and struggling.. just don't want to go down that road.. suggestions of returning to fl. where at least i can work every weekend within reason.. then where to go in fl. and move furniture.. or sell everything.. i don't know.. Madeline wants me to give it at least another winter.. school is so good there.. she's kept in touch with friends everywhere for several years now as we traveled.. and i in courage it.. by text, or e-mail.
well, i leave it with the hands of god, and of course will do my part.. god only does for those that do for themselves..

it was another long day.. productive, in many ways.. exchanged, the defective digital video camera, to best buys, oh don't go the route it's a ridiculous process.. had some food court lunch, went to home deep, for display materials for the booth.. stop at stop in shop, again.. nearly live there, small fridge!,

and off tomorrow to well fleet, 5:30 am.. oh NO!! supposed to be over cast tomorrow.. good for the flea market, or anywhere working near a beach, who would of thought a beach would be so much competition! it is.. and tomorrow is my day! cloudy!

after that, the laundramate, where we r to have a picnic with Diane.. so look forward to sharing that..

till then.. my friends..

Andrea and crew..

Good morning folks.. haven't written, here, anyway.. in days.. worked all week. first Welfleet, then tried out dennis .. neither was anything special.. but with a mail order or 3 and the week.. we will eat.. and today it will be burgers, hot dogs, on the grill, some fruit plate, my most popular salsa, and chips, followed by.................CAKE BIRTHDAY CAKE for Andres..

7 years ago today, i was in new york, it was a friday..we had just driven back, from syracuse, n.y. after purchasing the winnebago, we'd driven up there. or should i say, i drove, the truck towing the 33' travel trailer, with my huge stomach, bumping up against the steering wheel.. every bump on the road a reminder i had a big baby sitting on my bladder!! 6 hours up to get the winnebago.. Greg came with us so to drive the truck back to long island for us.. that eve, after we arrived.. and signed all the papers, we took possession, and started loading all our things from the trailer to the motorhome.. for hours into the night greg, and Alfredo and myself moved .. by 1 am everything was transferred, and my exhausted self slept.. the next morning, Alfredo drove, That monster, (and btw that was the last time i drove, as i could never reach the pedals) back to long island, down I-81 through pennsylvania.. on the radio we heard that electricity had been out in 5 or more states.. Remember that? i sure do.. we got lucky and got gas at a station that still had electricity, and drove over the Throggs neck bridge, the city completely dark, in fact we didn't even pay a toll, all the gates were up.. and we crossed into the island, arrived at battle row camp ground, and parked, to my delight we had a generator..The following morning, while sipping coffee, i felt just a little wet.. and very calmly said, i believe we will be meeting Andres today.. and so after gathering a few things, and leaving my precious madeline with friends, off to the hospital we went.. checked in.. I was so frigging hungry got a sandwich had 2 bites.. when the nurse came in she said that my water hadn't broken, but that my fluid was so low, it was safer to deliver him today than to wait.. after finding i'd had 2 bites of a sandwich, they insisted i wait for hours to have my c-section.. so i spent 12 hrs waiting, so hungry i could have fainted, even Andres was hungry, he was barely moving in there.. finally around 11:30 pm, they took us all into the operating room, I remember crying, about how this would change the dynamics of my 5 1/2 year relationship with my precious madeline..
and at 11:45 pm there he was.. my little baby boy.. white as snow..

AUGUST 15th, on the 16th would be the first of many arguments over Andres, an American indian pediatrician came to see me in my room.. he said he was with the pediatricians office i would be working with, for his first few check ups.. he asked me why i was going to have him circumcised.. "well because that's what his father wants" i explained.. He then asked me if his father was.. I said no.. Then why.. ? There's no reason to in this day an age, we have plenty of water, and can bath often.. and it hurts the baby, and could be traumatic.. Well that was it for me.. hurt my baby.. cause trauma life long!! as soon as Alfredo came i expressed my feelings, and he still wanted to have it done.. as they wheeled the little glass crib from the room, with my baby boy.. i cried, and Alfredo ran down the hall, against his will, and stopped them.. brought my boy back penis in tact.. Strangely enough, and i have to say strange, i never saw the american indian dr. again.. i even wonder sometimes if he was real..

Alfredo and i would spend the next 5 years fighting over Andres.. It had already started upon conception..

In all the years, as Andres was born on a friday, his birthday always fell on a weekend, just as it has again.. and i always had to work.. not to say that i can afford a day off.. now especially, but we r staying in the loveliest of campgrounds, surrounded with nice families, and children, and i have our friends clyde, his girl friend marina, and rick, here on the cape, to come and celebrate, Andres 7 years with us.. Oh thank u god.. he is really a difficult boy, but he is the sweetest also, generous, sensitive, and loving.. when i wake up with him here in this little space, he brushes his little hand on my cheek, in the sweetest way.. as he looks at my face, my eyes still closed..

So today.. he gets to have his very first party.. balloons, ribbons, gifts in birthday wrapped paper.. a big cake to share with friends.. Madeline has devised all sorts of entertainment, a scavenger hunt, and a game where u pass around a gift wrapped 20 times or so, and each person gets to unwrap one layer, till the last one gets the gift inside, a cd we picked up at the flea for 3 bucks! Andres has ask for 180 days so how many sleeps till my birthday? 180 Andres, id say, the next day.. how many more sleeps till my birthday, 179 Andres.. and so on.. this morning he was up early, got back on the bed and said.. Todays my birthday.. and i said that's right,, last night was the last sleep to becoming 7.. so off to the grocery to pick up cake, and a few other things.. feel free to call and wish my boy a happy birthday.. i'll tell all about it later..

oh boy it's a boy!! a party.. 7 years, where does the time go.. from fetus to infant, from infant to toddler, toddler to child, child to teen, and then suddenly before your eyes, adults.. with lives of their own, ideas, loves.. of there own.. huh? well i still have some time..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDRES.. I LOVE U.. HAVE ALWAYS, FROM THE MOMENT I KNEW U WERE COMING.. AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE U..

SO GLAD U BLESSED ME WITH YOUR PRESENCE!! AND WHAT A PRESENT INDEED..

sincerely...
Mom.. mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, oh dear!!

and crew!!