. . . about dads ashes.
After I finally got him cremated and actually it was a really nice day. maybe i'll start there.
I, at first meeting with the mortuary, met one of the employees, and for whatever reason he set me off. After a brief cold meeting, I got up and just left. The shock of being there was bad enough but the hassles with Toni had already begun, and i was looking high and low for ways to get money towards the cremation. I had been sent down 10 different paths and not a one would or could help. I was so frustrated. How was I gonna pay for this, while miss Toni had already done her thing, and was racing back to the trailer to go through things. after a few days I decided to use the rent check I'd brought with me in case of emergency. I had the rest of the money in my account. if i used it i wouldn't have much left. but i threw my hands to the sky and went for it.. I meet the owner of the mortuary, dang i can't remember his name right now. He was so much nicer than the other guy. and I liked him immediately, meanwhile I'd made friends with his other staff a lovely lady. as we sat at this long wooden table in this most magnificent victorian house, I became oddly at home. I forked over the check and my debit card, which he ran and screwed up. so he would have to run it again friday. which i was so concerned he wouldn't cremate dad. he assured me he would and Wednesday would be the day. I asked him if i could go with dad to the crematory, "do people do that"? I had gone to be with my mother. he said sure, and i said great, i will take the last drive with my dad the man that taught me to drive and love it. and i so do love to drive. so, so it was i met the car at the lovely house and dad's remains in a cardboard box. we drove a short distance in the lovely Durango morning, the sky clear, the mountains crisp. early that morn i'd quickly driven out to the trailer to pick up some music of dads but when i got there all the disks were gone and i couldn't find a one.. so i let it go. we drove without many words. arriving at the top of a hill, where the cemetery was and they took the box out. i was afraid they might drop him.. they were very careful and made sure i wasn't tempted to open it. i said a few words to him, rested my head on the box where i knew dads head was. and as though we were holding hands i went to the furnace. looking around it was a warehouse and there were expensive coffins stored there, very basic, but id seen moms and it was the same, i was fine.. I had a plan. with a jolt to my mind i knew what i was to do with dads ashes. I'd been to meet a lawyer with Toni. the discussion went south when she started telling me what I would be doing with the estate.. I had clearly let her have it that day.. I told her who do u think u r, I am not a child, I am a full grown woman and these are my parents. You have some nerve, telling me.. You not once have asked me about anything. I told her I asked them to leave a Will, they didn't care, and she could go fly a kite!" when i had left her i discovered the animus air park and remembered long ago dad teaching flying lessons there, I was the wing girl the entire summer, taking the last flight for my lesson in return for my job, and the man at the time that flew the tow plane all the years ago, had been the flirt of the summer and had seduced me when I was 17 1/2. My first. I felt my dad tell me to find Delvin, and in my new found confidence, felt so free to walk away from that horrible woman. I smiled as i pulled up to the hangers not a half mile away from the lawyers house. I walked over and into the hanger and asked if Delvin was here? a handsome man tall, was sitting on a rolling chair working on the engine of a plane, and announced that would be me.. he looked at me with his steely blue eyes and i knew he didn't know me.. I introduced my self and as i put my hand out to greet him, his arms opened to me, and embraced me. his grief for the sad loss of my dad, for he too was saddened. after a nice brief chat i asked.. would u do me a favor? and he said anything.. Would u take dad and i flying.. and he said what day.. how about friday or saturday.. I'll call you..
so as i watched the brown cardboard box slide into the raging fire, i knew we still had one more place to go together dad and I..the door closed and the attendant asked if i would like to push the button, I did.. and i was back down the hill, to carry forth the deeds of the day..
when i returned to the Hoods, the mortuary, I was informed of some news they had previously announced but couldn't confirm, dad and i were the recipient to a donation, the remaining balance was picked up by an anonymous contributor.. and my eyes filled with tears of joy. $895. it wasn't just the money but that someone cared enough to help..
The following day I picked up the ashes, and was worried it would be icky, i was so funny we were all laughing. he brought me the jewelry dad had on, a wedding ring in gold he had made, now slightly oval, from the accident and a gold chain dad had around his neck. and his watch.. I put the thick gold ring on my left index finger where it remains, the chain was broken, it had another wedding ring on it, I had put that upon my left pinky finger, along with the magic heart ring I'd received from madeline many years before, lovely story on that, one day, to tell.. I fixed the chain and round my neck it lives. heavy chain, feels nice to the touch.
I had confirmed my flight with Delvin, and he called me that eve, lets make it early.
I was up with the sun, the glorious morning sun on the Durango mesa. the crisp air, and dashed over the highway and up the short hill, my coffee in hand a scarf around my neck and dads box of now ashes, heavy. greeted by Delvin, just us on that clear bright morning. so where should we go.. I don't know, you tell me Delvin.. he buckled me into the little 2 seater, showed me the funnel we would use to disperse dads ashes, i listened carefully to his instructions, when i heard daddy say to me This flight is for you my dear, I am already flying. enjoy it, you are safe with Delvin.. as we took off i felt barely a rush, it was so smooth, we flew into the blue morning skies toward the sky-scaping mountains, the snow still embedded in the creases between swells. We soared through the mountaintops, breath takingly beautiful. as everything below was now tiny, and insignificant, the moment was here, and at the top of the top of the mountains, the chicago basin, with a view of purgatory ski mountain i let fly the ashes, and a stream of white ash flew into the sky.. barely a blanket to dust the greatness of the earth below. And quietly we flew back to the airport, landed as though on a pillow. Delvin shared a Gleb story and what he had meant to him, and it was lovely.. And off i was to greet the day.
I had put aside a small bag of the ashes for myself and Toni. later that day went to a thrift store, i knew i was looking for something to put hers into, and that i would know it when i saw it. I looked twice over the shelves, and on my second round found the lovely glass swan., that was it. i filled it with dads ashes and wrapped it in newspaper. Simple. that afternoon meeting Toni at the trailer.. during the visit i mentioned i had something for her.. as we left, she was sure to remind me, oh what is it you were going to give me? I went to my rented car and retrieved the bag, with the paper wrapped swan and handed it to her. from the look on her face whatever it was wasn't what she had expected.. she opened it carefully in the drive of the trailer. as the swan emerged from the paper she was over whelmed. Dads ashes for you to keep with wally. She looked at me and said, do you know about the swan? no what? My father collected them.. I had found what i was looking for, something that unbeknownst to me would move her. if only for a moment.
to conclude, I kept the remaining ashes and brought them back to Durango 10 days later when the children and i drove out.. somewhere during that arduous task, the baggie disappeared, and i am yet to find it!
the spirit lives so much stronger, no physical need remain, but what is in the heart of a soul, to guild me as i listen carefully to the love they share in energy, i embrace.
I too love to write, could use an editor! one of my hobbies and wally was an avid reader of my blog.
love Andrea
Thursday 1 September 2011
Tuesday 23 August 2011
Facebook: FRIEND OR FOE
FACEBOOK: FRIEND OR FOE
It not until now that I could write with a little encouragement from a family friend. It must, for my many readers, been a disappointment I so abuptly stopped writing. I really haven't stopped writing, just not my blog, nor my book. sadly it's been to lawyers and e-mails of the endless nature that this was not in my conciousness.
I decided to change my entire life from on the road to art shows to remaining in los angeles to resculpt my life. I had a plan, and if I haven't mentioned this before one way to get a real giggle out of the other side, and God. ah you ask what was , and I stress WAS, the plan. well a friend said to me You must pick a dead line and make a disission to go on the road or stay.. He choose for me. May 26th.. On may 25th I decided stay. to his dismay. I did the math and the toll on us all, the long journey to the east.
I decided that I have always made money and with the summer months here I could still do a few shows and maintain a roof over heads and food on table with my limited resources and conservative spending I would find another way to do what I was doing. Promote my website, bring in moneys this way and look for other possibilities..
As it would turn out before my children were even out of school, I had already pick up a little job driving a friends kids to school also. not alot of money but the wheels were turning! literally and figutively. and I loved it.. the girls are the daughters of a working actor who was a friend of my mothers.. I discribe him, Hakiem, as His feet don't touch the ground. don't ask me, just every time I saw him I could feel his goodness and he has such grace. absolutlely beauitful.
On june 10th I had been at the hair solon finishing a task of going blond rather than battle the gray with my life long dark locks. It was a huge change.. I had received some calls I ignored but upon arriving home again in the afternoon about 1 hour before I would go on my child pick up run, I checked my emails, as I always do. and then got one from a friend through face book. so I checked it out, The message said " Andrea so sorry about Gleb and Wally." I immediately went to FB to see the message there. It wasn't there and I was so confused, if you remember, in the fall I may have writen about my trip to Durango, where Wally, my step mother had decided she didn't want us to come and I was so hurt. even though she had her reasons of which her verson seemed lame. I hadn't seen her or my dad in 10 years. and there was my opportunity or may be never. I was distraught, and my dad had called and was horid. well just a reminder, find it in my past writings.. it's certainly there. Well my first thought was of that and really I wasn't dwelling on that so why on earth would my friend Kim be writing about that now.. I was completely over it. Had had another conversation with a fellow photographer, peer of my fathers, who lives here intown, and he had said to me everything is about perspective.. let's keep that in mind.. as he explained it, as though he'd known my every move. which I don't believe he did. He opened my mind up to this and I felt free. That conversation took place may 27th. Interestingly enough my decision to stay had already taken hold to CHANGE. with that informitive conversation, I took in deeply I had written an e-mail to my step mother. btw my other mother for 40 years. and every reason I write.
here is the email i wrote:
just was thinking of u and looked at the photos i posted to some art photo gallery on line. just putting some photos there, not all my best but thought id try.. have many others in various catagories. here's the link: http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/andrea-derujinsky.html?tab=artwork
Hope all is well with you, and daddy..
and I am sorry i upset you, months back, i meant well, if that counts!
love you always and daddy..
xoxoxoxox
andrea and crew
I had caught her looking at my photos on fine art america, on the statics page, and since i hadn't heard a word from my obstinate parents, always through wally's emails i felt it was time. I want to thank Mel S. for that.
So back to facebook friend or foe! I looked at my phone messages and realized it was Kim that had been calling me, so returned her call to ask what was up.. She answered and said she was at work and would call me later. on facebook again I recieved an instant message live from krista, kims sister whom I hardly know at all. The dialogue was this:
Hi Andrea are you doing ok?? Sis and I are sorry for you.
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
hi
June 10 Krista W
how are you?
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
what was the message u guys wrote that toni replied to?
im ok
life been really hard
June 10 Krista W
I think you should call Toni...We dont feel right
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
did she say something inappropreiate
im so lost
June 10 Krista Walden
no honey....
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
i wrote a private note i think a while back to kim
June 10 Krista Walden
If I say please don't hate me
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
and then i got these messages from u 2 today
no not at all im just in the dark
what happened im laughing really
June 10 Krista W
I'm shakking right now and in tears
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
oh no what
please it's not that bad
June 10 Krista W
your dady and wally
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
what
are they ok
June 10 Krista W
no honey
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
qhat
what what
call me
954-XXX-XXXX
June 10 Krista W
I dont have your num
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
954-XXXXXXX
954-XXX-XXXX
happen
what
June 10 Krista W
i'm calling
At this point my hands were shaking, and the phone rang and I answered.. Krista what happened? She could hardly speak, and she explained Daddy and Wally were in a car accident, my first response are they OK? No honey they are not. Are they in a hospital? no honey they are not.. What, What! where are they? What happened, what happened! I was standing in my living room fortunately my children were at school.. Oh god what happened? she was in tears now.. tell me! They died, krista tried to not say. OH god NO! NO! no,no no, no ....no,no,no no.... NO! no, please NO! I was on the floor.. and as I write this could go right back to the floor. They died? how did you find this out? It was in the Durango herald, front page. I with all my might went to the computer and found the article and photo of my parents car.. oh my god there was nothing left of the passenger side, and my mother Wally was driving, so that meant dad was completely crushed.. It was unbearable.. I looked at the clock and had to leave to pick up the kids, first Hakiems daughter Shada, the little one then down to wilshire and highland for Madeline and Ayisha and then back to pick up Andres, the traffic was the worst ever. I had no idea what was going on .. all I knew was I wanted to get back home.. I made a quick call to Mel on my way to pick up Shada, he needed to hear this from me. and he would get the word out to those others that needed to know. So you understand, Mel is one of the photographers of my fathers time, just a little there after, and my father Gleb Derujinsky was one of the renowned photographers for Harper's bazaar for 18 years. I had had a meeting with Mel to share stories and I wanted his opinion on my photos, which since good ol gleb wasn't communicating I thought Mel could give some guidance. Who knew this would turn out this way.. And so goes it for plans on an earthly plain, as God has yet another.
My broken heart, I put away to make flight arrangements but not until I called Toni, Wally's sister, who asked Kim W to take down from facebook as I hadn't been informed yet. oddly enough the woman had my information and could have reached me when she found out the night before, as a FB friend also, but she choose not to. I asked her what her plans were and she had already booked a flight. I failed to ask when and said I'd call her back. I got right on it and logged into cheep tickets found a flight for a ridiculously low fair to Durango, usually $800-$900.. was on special for $495.. I heard my mother say from the other side, book it.. and without hesitation pressed the keys for my flight. I would be leaving L.A at 9 am arriving 4:42 pm in Durango the 11 th of june. I called miss Toni back and asked when she would be getting to Durango. she replied about 5:30pm I said "well I'll see u there, when u arrive." I called Kim back and asked if she knew someone who could pick me up from the airport, and she made some calls, of all things a good friend of hers, Lisa F would volunteer to pick me up and then without a thought offered me a place to stay. a complete stranger. I was open as was she. I asked my good friend Bill to stay with the children, he would, and off I was to Durango.. Trying to reach my unreachable sister was a task, but I kept thinking about her the whole time, and oddly enough between flights while in Denver at a bar with a beer and the entire container of cocktail napkins the phone rang an it was Eugenia.. I took a deep breath and told her where I was and why. As this would be an awful blow for her naturally too.
I of course brought my camera and took some great aerial photos of the mountains as we flew into Durango later to post. The entire trip was surreal, and Toni prevailed to be a nightmare, her only objective to get what she came for, whatever that might have been. While I was scavenging money to cremate my father she was going through the household items. I never expected it.. there was one day though where I was floundering the day before Wally's memorial, separate from dads, for what reason I will never understand, when Toni called and said come to the straitter hotel. we can talk.. I cried a little. and I felt her pain, as she did mine, but that would be short lived.
To say less with more it has been an arduous task of sorting out the many details of 2 loved ones lives and what was left behind, with no Will to guild us.. Just 2 people with 2 different perspectives which seemingly do not match up. In the end I believe all will work out as does everything in time. It is what is destined to be, of which none of us ever know.. which is why making plans is only a guild line to where we are headed and flexibility is a requirement.
Four days after Daddy and Wally died I received a message from my father, as I was pondering his vast career in photography and the legacy of his work, what the purpose in it all was. what is the point. and on top of it, he had never received the recognition for his vast body of work.. so what was the point in his legacy. How could I be a part of preserving it.. all these concerns running through my mind.. He said clearly to me as I sat in the car, his broken body in an ice box at the mortuary, My dear Andrea, "The only legacy we take with us to the other side is how you are with other people. nothing else comes with you."
And so with that I am going with the flow, more determined to be the best I can be, with what I have to work with.. and to say the least a many great friends I have had the pleasure of knowing and the support of those same, in my time of need and the strength they give to me. To the many I have to thank may I name a few.
Barbara who took my call and helped with the cremation of my dad, and a true support, in her giving, not of funds but of love she didn't choose, any more than Wally wanted to be a mother! and became one despite. I love you.
to Mel for his timely vision about perspective. giving me the opportunity to say what needed to be said to Wally before they died. amen to that.
To my new forged friendships, Lisa F for becoming my long lost friend, whom I will love my life long, and the beer at the end of those days, the sunsetting on the mesa and we swapping the days journey, and a smoke, in the cool evening air, and the clouds in the sunset sky, my father loved to shoot. what a wonder. wait till u all see!
To Kim who had the misfortune of having to tell, but couldn't and Krista for being the bearer of the worst news a person could have to tell.
I actually wrote a letter to the editor of the Durango Herald which they wouldn't publish as a thank u note as it was too long, I will post it after this. and share with all my gratitude for all those who embraced my broken heart of which is not near mended. but I carry on with grace and strength, and am continuing to take photos and am now printing one 30 x 30 and have a customer! woopee! and I will resume writing, as I use the gifts I was intended to.
It is may greatest wish that if one who reads this finds some solace in their own lives, that we are on a path, and all will be fine. And to take a deep breath as I have been reminded by one of Wallis friends Marilyn, thank u, I needed that, so when you loose one mother another steps in! sometimes many to help.. I am grateful, thankful and prepared to move ahead, confident. and assured by the love of others while sharing that with my crew. needed and wanted. may I be better than my best.
Andrea Derujinsky and Crew
It not until now that I could write with a little encouragement from a family friend. It must, for my many readers, been a disappointment I so abuptly stopped writing. I really haven't stopped writing, just not my blog, nor my book. sadly it's been to lawyers and e-mails of the endless nature that this was not in my conciousness.
I decided to change my entire life from on the road to art shows to remaining in los angeles to resculpt my life. I had a plan, and if I haven't mentioned this before one way to get a real giggle out of the other side, and God. ah you ask what was , and I stress WAS, the plan. well a friend said to me You must pick a dead line and make a disission to go on the road or stay.. He choose for me. May 26th.. On may 25th I decided stay. to his dismay. I did the math and the toll on us all, the long journey to the east.
I decided that I have always made money and with the summer months here I could still do a few shows and maintain a roof over heads and food on table with my limited resources and conservative spending I would find another way to do what I was doing. Promote my website, bring in moneys this way and look for other possibilities..
As it would turn out before my children were even out of school, I had already pick up a little job driving a friends kids to school also. not alot of money but the wheels were turning! literally and figutively. and I loved it.. the girls are the daughters of a working actor who was a friend of my mothers.. I discribe him, Hakiem, as His feet don't touch the ground. don't ask me, just every time I saw him I could feel his goodness and he has such grace. absolutlely beauitful.
On june 10th I had been at the hair solon finishing a task of going blond rather than battle the gray with my life long dark locks. It was a huge change.. I had received some calls I ignored but upon arriving home again in the afternoon about 1 hour before I would go on my child pick up run, I checked my emails, as I always do. and then got one from a friend through face book. so I checked it out, The message said " Andrea so sorry about Gleb and Wally." I immediately went to FB to see the message there. It wasn't there and I was so confused, if you remember, in the fall I may have writen about my trip to Durango, where Wally, my step mother had decided she didn't want us to come and I was so hurt. even though she had her reasons of which her verson seemed lame. I hadn't seen her or my dad in 10 years. and there was my opportunity or may be never. I was distraught, and my dad had called and was horid. well just a reminder, find it in my past writings.. it's certainly there. Well my first thought was of that and really I wasn't dwelling on that so why on earth would my friend Kim be writing about that now.. I was completely over it. Had had another conversation with a fellow photographer, peer of my fathers, who lives here intown, and he had said to me everything is about perspective.. let's keep that in mind.. as he explained it, as though he'd known my every move. which I don't believe he did. He opened my mind up to this and I felt free. That conversation took place may 27th. Interestingly enough my decision to stay had already taken hold to CHANGE. with that informitive conversation, I took in deeply I had written an e-mail to my step mother. btw my other mother for 40 years. and every reason I write.
here is the email i wrote:
just was thinking of u and looked at the photos i posted to some art photo gallery on line. just putting some photos there, not all my best but thought id try.. have many others in various catagories. here's the link: http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/andrea-derujinsky.html?tab=artwork
Hope all is well with you, and daddy..
and I am sorry i upset you, months back, i meant well, if that counts!
love you always and daddy..
xoxoxoxox
andrea and crew
I had caught her looking at my photos on fine art america, on the statics page, and since i hadn't heard a word from my obstinate parents, always through wally's emails i felt it was time. I want to thank Mel S. for that.
So back to facebook friend or foe! I looked at my phone messages and realized it was Kim that had been calling me, so returned her call to ask what was up.. She answered and said she was at work and would call me later. on facebook again I recieved an instant message live from krista, kims sister whom I hardly know at all. The dialogue was this:
Hi Andrea are you doing ok?? Sis and I are sorry for you.
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
hi
June 10 Krista W
how are you?
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
what was the message u guys wrote that toni replied to?
im ok
life been really hard
June 10 Krista W
I think you should call Toni...We dont feel right
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
did she say something inappropreiate
im so lost
June 10 Krista Walden
no honey....
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
i wrote a private note i think a while back to kim
June 10 Krista Walden
If I say please don't hate me
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
and then i got these messages from u 2 today
no not at all im just in the dark
what happened im laughing really
June 10 Krista W
I'm shakking right now and in tears
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
oh no what
please it's not that bad
June 10 Krista W
your dady and wally
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
what
are they ok
June 10 Krista W
no honey
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
qhat
what what
call me
954-XXX-XXXX
June 10 Krista W
I dont have your num
June 10 Andrea Derujinsky
954-XXXXXXX
954-XXX-XXXX
happen
what
June 10 Krista W
i'm calling
At this point my hands were shaking, and the phone rang and I answered.. Krista what happened? She could hardly speak, and she explained Daddy and Wally were in a car accident, my first response are they OK? No honey they are not. Are they in a hospital? no honey they are not.. What, What! where are they? What happened, what happened! I was standing in my living room fortunately my children were at school.. Oh god what happened? she was in tears now.. tell me! They died, krista tried to not say. OH god NO! NO! no,no no, no ....no,no,no no.... NO! no, please NO! I was on the floor.. and as I write this could go right back to the floor. They died? how did you find this out? It was in the Durango herald, front page. I with all my might went to the computer and found the article and photo of my parents car.. oh my god there was nothing left of the passenger side, and my mother Wally was driving, so that meant dad was completely crushed.. It was unbearable.. I looked at the clock and had to leave to pick up the kids, first Hakiems daughter Shada, the little one then down to wilshire and highland for Madeline and Ayisha and then back to pick up Andres, the traffic was the worst ever. I had no idea what was going on .. all I knew was I wanted to get back home.. I made a quick call to Mel on my way to pick up Shada, he needed to hear this from me. and he would get the word out to those others that needed to know. So you understand, Mel is one of the photographers of my fathers time, just a little there after, and my father Gleb Derujinsky was one of the renowned photographers for Harper's bazaar for 18 years. I had had a meeting with Mel to share stories and I wanted his opinion on my photos, which since good ol gleb wasn't communicating I thought Mel could give some guidance. Who knew this would turn out this way.. And so goes it for plans on an earthly plain, as God has yet another.
My broken heart, I put away to make flight arrangements but not until I called Toni, Wally's sister, who asked Kim W to take down from facebook as I hadn't been informed yet. oddly enough the woman had my information and could have reached me when she found out the night before, as a FB friend also, but she choose not to. I asked her what her plans were and she had already booked a flight. I failed to ask when and said I'd call her back. I got right on it and logged into cheep tickets found a flight for a ridiculously low fair to Durango, usually $800-$900.. was on special for $495.. I heard my mother say from the other side, book it.. and without hesitation pressed the keys for my flight. I would be leaving L.A at 9 am arriving 4:42 pm in Durango the 11 th of june. I called miss Toni back and asked when she would be getting to Durango. she replied about 5:30pm I said "well I'll see u there, when u arrive." I called Kim back and asked if she knew someone who could pick me up from the airport, and she made some calls, of all things a good friend of hers, Lisa F would volunteer to pick me up and then without a thought offered me a place to stay. a complete stranger. I was open as was she. I asked my good friend Bill to stay with the children, he would, and off I was to Durango.. Trying to reach my unreachable sister was a task, but I kept thinking about her the whole time, and oddly enough between flights while in Denver at a bar with a beer and the entire container of cocktail napkins the phone rang an it was Eugenia.. I took a deep breath and told her where I was and why. As this would be an awful blow for her naturally too.
I of course brought my camera and took some great aerial photos of the mountains as we flew into Durango later to post. The entire trip was surreal, and Toni prevailed to be a nightmare, her only objective to get what she came for, whatever that might have been. While I was scavenging money to cremate my father she was going through the household items. I never expected it.. there was one day though where I was floundering the day before Wally's memorial, separate from dads, for what reason I will never understand, when Toni called and said come to the straitter hotel. we can talk.. I cried a little. and I felt her pain, as she did mine, but that would be short lived.
To say less with more it has been an arduous task of sorting out the many details of 2 loved ones lives and what was left behind, with no Will to guild us.. Just 2 people with 2 different perspectives which seemingly do not match up. In the end I believe all will work out as does everything in time. It is what is destined to be, of which none of us ever know.. which is why making plans is only a guild line to where we are headed and flexibility is a requirement.
Four days after Daddy and Wally died I received a message from my father, as I was pondering his vast career in photography and the legacy of his work, what the purpose in it all was. what is the point. and on top of it, he had never received the recognition for his vast body of work.. so what was the point in his legacy. How could I be a part of preserving it.. all these concerns running through my mind.. He said clearly to me as I sat in the car, his broken body in an ice box at the mortuary, My dear Andrea, "The only legacy we take with us to the other side is how you are with other people. nothing else comes with you."
And so with that I am going with the flow, more determined to be the best I can be, with what I have to work with.. and to say the least a many great friends I have had the pleasure of knowing and the support of those same, in my time of need and the strength they give to me. To the many I have to thank may I name a few.
Barbara who took my call and helped with the cremation of my dad, and a true support, in her giving, not of funds but of love she didn't choose, any more than Wally wanted to be a mother! and became one despite. I love you.
to Mel for his timely vision about perspective. giving me the opportunity to say what needed to be said to Wally before they died. amen to that.
To my new forged friendships, Lisa F for becoming my long lost friend, whom I will love my life long, and the beer at the end of those days, the sunsetting on the mesa and we swapping the days journey, and a smoke, in the cool evening air, and the clouds in the sunset sky, my father loved to shoot. what a wonder. wait till u all see!
To Kim who had the misfortune of having to tell, but couldn't and Krista for being the bearer of the worst news a person could have to tell.
I actually wrote a letter to the editor of the Durango Herald which they wouldn't publish as a thank u note as it was too long, I will post it after this. and share with all my gratitude for all those who embraced my broken heart of which is not near mended. but I carry on with grace and strength, and am continuing to take photos and am now printing one 30 x 30 and have a customer! woopee! and I will resume writing, as I use the gifts I was intended to.
It is may greatest wish that if one who reads this finds some solace in their own lives, that we are on a path, and all will be fine. And to take a deep breath as I have been reminded by one of Wallis friends Marilyn, thank u, I needed that, so when you loose one mother another steps in! sometimes many to help.. I am grateful, thankful and prepared to move ahead, confident. and assured by the love of others while sharing that with my crew. needed and wanted. may I be better than my best.
Andrea Derujinsky and Crew
Dear Durango...
Dear Durango,
I have been so consumed with the responsibilities that go with the loss of a parent, much less two, that it is not till now i could write.
I most wanted to share my gratitude towards each and every person i met, both new and old friendships forged and reforged. It is an honor to be the daughter of both Wallis and daddy (Gleb). and as with my mothers passing 18 months ago, my greatest inheritance was her friends, of which is a huge responsibly. one can inherit this but one can not keep it, without cultivation. I pray i can do so on behalf of my parents, and continue to make them proud, as so many told me, that they were.
I want to start by thanking so many for their kind words, some of which were perfect strangers, from out side the court house the girl from denny's to Jan, and mary, in the court house that handed me a box of tissues every time they saw me, and lent me there ear, and shoulder. to the girl at the police station, and a nice woman that told me it was ok to cry, to carol in the coranors office, an extraordinary woman. My thanks to robin from state farm and denise, they have been so compassionate i can only learn from the best of heart. To Hood mortuary, may i say Tom got the brunt of my dismay, and handled it well, and ryan stepped in and was extraordinary, sue, kathy, and anne, thank you so much.. you will never know how glad i was to have your support, and only you know how hard this was for me, in so many ways. To the anonymous contributor who made it possible to finalize arrangements for my father, no blessing greater. There, in my opinion, is no such thing as closure, but steps that take us forward, and i was at a stand still. I took my last drive with my dad, the man who "taught" me how to drive, and the following day, up early, as everyday, went on the last earthly flight with my dad thanks to Delvin. Without a thought he granted my every wish. and gave me a lovely ride to the tip top of Needles mountains near the chicago basin, where my fathers ashes lie between the highest peeks, where he belongs, at the top!!
To Janet at for the birds for arranging and gathering together Wally's friends, to one of the last places wally so enjoyed and found herself as an individual, opposed to being Gleb's wife. a woman of great intellect, which she was able to share with you all, then and forever. thank you for coming. and to wally's first boss there, who sold the store with wally as one of it's assets, nothing could be more true.
Let me express my deep gratitude to Open shutter, Margy, brendon, and so many others, who came to share their stories of both gleb and wally. Ken for attending both services, wally's memorial and the celebration at open shutter saturday, and bringing the bike patent!! and for the opportunity to share, on behalf of my father the stories i grew up with about the photographs he took of my mother and carmen!
to the girl at frontier counter who extended my trip with no extra cost, and budget for renting me a car within budget!
to Art and lucy for your help and support, and jonie for the beautiful top and jacket i wore to wally's service, and the beer on her deck.
lastly to kimberly who had the misfortune of reading about daddy and wally's accident, and being the one to first inform me, and her sister krista for her call, and worse of all having to tell me, and feel my pain, first hand. To Lisa, kimberly's friend who offered to not only pick me, a perfect stranger at the airport, but opened up her home to me, for the entire duration of my trip, for the dinners i didn't have to decide upon, to the wise advice, and insight, as well as the joy of a sunset, with a beer over looking the farm field and the la platas to the north. I can not express thanks as it is too little a word to express the content of my feelings.
Thank you to the durango herald for writing such great stories about my dad, Gleb Derujinsky, i'd love a copy of each of them, please. I am in need of returning to during to finish up what needs be. I am looking for a house sitting opportunity, for 2-4 weeks if any one hears of such a place please contact me.
most sincerely,
Andrea derujinsky
I have been so consumed with the responsibilities that go with the loss of a parent, much less two, that it is not till now i could write.
I most wanted to share my gratitude towards each and every person i met, both new and old friendships forged and reforged. It is an honor to be the daughter of both Wallis and daddy (Gleb). and as with my mothers passing 18 months ago, my greatest inheritance was her friends, of which is a huge responsibly. one can inherit this but one can not keep it, without cultivation. I pray i can do so on behalf of my parents, and continue to make them proud, as so many told me, that they were.
I want to start by thanking so many for their kind words, some of which were perfect strangers, from out side the court house the girl from denny's to Jan, and mary, in the court house that handed me a box of tissues every time they saw me, and lent me there ear, and shoulder. to the girl at the police station, and a nice woman that told me it was ok to cry, to carol in the coranors office, an extraordinary woman. My thanks to robin from state farm and denise, they have been so compassionate i can only learn from the best of heart. To Hood mortuary, may i say Tom got the brunt of my dismay, and handled it well, and ryan stepped in and was extraordinary, sue, kathy, and anne, thank you so much.. you will never know how glad i was to have your support, and only you know how hard this was for me, in so many ways. To the anonymous contributor who made it possible to finalize arrangements for my father, no blessing greater. There, in my opinion, is no such thing as closure, but steps that take us forward, and i was at a stand still. I took my last drive with my dad, the man who "taught" me how to drive, and the following day, up early, as everyday, went on the last earthly flight with my dad thanks to Delvin. Without a thought he granted my every wish. and gave me a lovely ride to the tip top of Needles mountains near the chicago basin, where my fathers ashes lie between the highest peeks, where he belongs, at the top!!
To Janet at for the birds for arranging and gathering together Wally's friends, to one of the last places wally so enjoyed and found herself as an individual, opposed to being Gleb's wife. a woman of great intellect, which she was able to share with you all, then and forever. thank you for coming. and to wally's first boss there, who sold the store with wally as one of it's assets, nothing could be more true.
Let me express my deep gratitude to Open shutter, Margy, brendon, and so many others, who came to share their stories of both gleb and wally. Ken for attending both services, wally's memorial and the celebration at open shutter saturday, and bringing the bike patent!! and for the opportunity to share, on behalf of my father the stories i grew up with about the photographs he took of my mother and carmen!
to the girl at frontier counter who extended my trip with no extra cost, and budget for renting me a car within budget!
to Art and lucy for your help and support, and jonie for the beautiful top and jacket i wore to wally's service, and the beer on her deck.
lastly to kimberly who had the misfortune of reading about daddy and wally's accident, and being the one to first inform me, and her sister krista for her call, and worse of all having to tell me, and feel my pain, first hand. To Lisa, kimberly's friend who offered to not only pick me, a perfect stranger at the airport, but opened up her home to me, for the entire duration of my trip, for the dinners i didn't have to decide upon, to the wise advice, and insight, as well as the joy of a sunset, with a beer over looking the farm field and the la platas to the north. I can not express thanks as it is too little a word to express the content of my feelings.
Thank you to the durango herald for writing such great stories about my dad, Gleb Derujinsky, i'd love a copy of each of them, please. I am in need of returning to during to finish up what needs be. I am looking for a house sitting opportunity, for 2-4 weeks if any one hears of such a place please contact me.
most sincerely,
Andrea derujinsky
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Crescent Moon
Crescent moon in the midnight sky,
watching over me,
like a smile, or a wink from a friend,
blooming into this fine day
are we permitted this adornment of heaven on earth?
can it be the trees shine brighter?
the flowers bloom more vibrant?
can the sky be this blue?
the palms blow in the strong breeze,
like feathers painting the sky,
for all to share, should it be noticed.
all senses aroused,
to the feel of the wind,
the susurration of tree leaves,
like the sea upon the sand. a surge..
i swoon to their dance
the bougainvillaea, wash atop a flat gray roof
all aglow, greet me, this fine morn
i sparkle with them!
the sky, the trees, the blooms, the sun, the moon
so bright
good day
watching over me,
like a smile, or a wink from a friend,
blooming into this fine day
are we permitted this adornment of heaven on earth?
can it be the trees shine brighter?
the flowers bloom more vibrant?
can the sky be this blue?
the palms blow in the strong breeze,
like feathers painting the sky,
for all to share, should it be noticed.
all senses aroused,
to the feel of the wind,
the susurration of tree leaves,
like the sea upon the sand. a surge..
i swoon to their dance
the bougainvillaea, wash atop a flat gray roof
all aglow, greet me, this fine morn
i sparkle with them!
the sky, the trees, the blooms, the sun, the moon
so bright
good day
Wednesday 20 April 2011
better late than never, as i post at last!!
I would like to say what an adventure already this week has been. I have not stopped running since Amy and i landed in south Florida. after an all night flight from LAX leaving at 1:30 am wed. and as always the hassle at the airport. to go through the check out is horrendous. LAX is under all kinds of construction, and the terminal we had to go through must have been the worst. when we arrived we were a little hungry, not a single place was open, not even a vending machine was anywhere to be found.. but before we knew it we were boarding. once aboard, i decided to take the advice of a few friends, one particular that suggested meditation, stephen, so i tried, closed my eyes and started to listen to my breathing, and before we had reached cruising altitude i was a sleep. and surprisingly so, i slept..in a flutter of forgotten dreams, we were landing in Houston, Tx. and with a mild rush to the next Gate, which as it turned out was at the far end, what a surprise. in the wrong shoes i might add. i asked a girl driving one of those golf carts through the terminal of united/continental (now merged) for a lift, and gratefully she did glide us through to the gate, where Amy and i backed tracked for the worst coffee ever brewed on earth, Star Bucks, and was i glad to have it!! We boarded the connecting flight, and i was sure i wouldn't be able to sleep on that short flight, but before u know it, i caught the sun rising and my eyes fading into dreamland again, i awoke to a harsh landing in miami. BAM, and there we were, Clyde there, on time to pick us up, and off to an Israeli restaurant, for a bite to eat.
From there we left clyde at the enterprise where he'd left his Porsche, and off we went to our lavish accommodations. just so one is very informed the cheeper the motel in florida the more likely vagrants and drug addicts reside and waste their lives doing unspeakable things. frankly, i wouldn't care, but that unsavory type is last the group i want to hang with when i'm selling jewelry, have all my life's work in a suit case, and unarmed, no man or weapon, which i'm beginning to think is a must.. ready for the shooting lessons.. saw a fellow artisan put a gun in his pants one day packing up and nearly wet my pants.. not only was it sexy, but really wise.. that's when i started to think, would i be sexier with a gun in my pants? hahaha.. probably not.. but i'd feel a lot safer.. especially after the week in this hell hole we stayed in..
after such a long night flight we opted for the beach, where we recouped, took in some sun and were swept up by the sound of a gentle surf, gliding up upon the sand, the topaz blue sea fading into sapphire as far as the eye could sea!
we decided to check out delray, where the show was to be, and grab a bite, found a bar with music, an irish pub, with little charm but a band, which as it turned out was a bit loud , even amy at 27 thought so.. too funny, so we graduated to the outside, chatted and went back to the motel. we spent the rest of our funds at publix the south east grocery chain, to save money, and the manager of the store made friends with us that first day, and each time we went in he'd find us some how.. and offer us a pleasant greeting.. frankly this has to be the nicest publix I've ever been to,, in the eighteen years i lived in florida i never knew one employee at a store i frequented every other day.. unbelievable..
thursday we went to pick up my booth set up, at my former residence, and friday we set up. and off to the financial sales race we were, early in the morning.. I had a strategy and was working it, probably to death, but did do relatively well, saturday, was brutally hot and humid, i was wet all day, my hair became a curly sue disaster!! but as no one knows how it was or should look compliments to my frieze was frequent.. so many elderly, that is likely they would have needed a better prescription to see i looked like hell.. with a big smile on my face and cheer to go around.. surprisingly not one really interesting conversation took place most of the weekend, a fellow artisan spent the weekend sharing, innuendo with me, which was good for a laugh, and some really older man whom id met years before, who sells pearls and stones, innuendo hah, thought i was the catch of the weekend and hit on me, from his electric chair!! FUCK!! he explained that years before upon our first meeting, i had flirted with him. I said "what in your wildest dreams would make u think that, i was a married woman and never ever looked at another man in my entire marriage", i hardly look now.. !! as the pervert tried to look down my blouse and up my dress, what the…. before u know it he and his electric chair which he'd driven into my booth, were gone.. jackass.. being a woman is really something.. just because we look at a man, and are polite hardly constitutes flirtation.. oddly the poor bastard came back 3 times on sunday to say hi, and i blew him off each time.. and thats not what your thinking!! ewwww.. guess NO means maybe to some.. and yes to others, whatever happened to the meaning of NO anyway, guess we often cant reely make up our minds, so we say no and then renege.. i myself rarely do that, if ever, oh well ..of course there are some exceptions! life, as confusing as can be..
Sunday, was even hotter, and i slashed prices to their bottom price and moved gems out!! in the end i did do well, and frankly barely made a dent in the inventory i have, good thing, off to work in a few weeks to the sunshine state again for my most beloved show, Sunfest, where i will spend the weekend, selling and enjoying the company of friends, blessed as always..
I am writing from the fair skies of my flight aboard united/continental.. at last, but they are a bit behind the times and haven't wi fi, what's this world coming too? technology i love it when we have it, so i will have to postpone my published piece till i land..
i was tortured to have not written and posted last saturday, so i appreciate my understanding readers for my latest broadcast, from which i have little life analogies today, only to say i am looking forward to going home to my safe apt, with my darling children, who love me, and putting my arms tightly around them.. and to be in my own shower, my bed, my kitchen.. my town.. and in my car.. easter to come, and my fun week, with my pair of pixies to share it with and slip some needed work in too..
what i would most like to say is this, one does appreciate a bit more what one has when for a moment in time, there is a break, when for a bit separated for what ever reason, a wealth of appreciation for a treasured friend, family member, or ones beloved children, is then restored to it's natural state, be it ever changing, still where it is meant to be.. for now..
with the greatest love and gratitude for my children, friends, and (fantasy lovers!!) {tell me that's not funny} as i leave some and reunite with others.. kisses to all!!
Andrea and my absent Crew
From there we left clyde at the enterprise where he'd left his Porsche, and off we went to our lavish accommodations. just so one is very informed the cheeper the motel in florida the more likely vagrants and drug addicts reside and waste their lives doing unspeakable things. frankly, i wouldn't care, but that unsavory type is last the group i want to hang with when i'm selling jewelry, have all my life's work in a suit case, and unarmed, no man or weapon, which i'm beginning to think is a must.. ready for the shooting lessons.. saw a fellow artisan put a gun in his pants one day packing up and nearly wet my pants.. not only was it sexy, but really wise.. that's when i started to think, would i be sexier with a gun in my pants? hahaha.. probably not.. but i'd feel a lot safer.. especially after the week in this hell hole we stayed in..
after such a long night flight we opted for the beach, where we recouped, took in some sun and were swept up by the sound of a gentle surf, gliding up upon the sand, the topaz blue sea fading into sapphire as far as the eye could sea!
we decided to check out delray, where the show was to be, and grab a bite, found a bar with music, an irish pub, with little charm but a band, which as it turned out was a bit loud , even amy at 27 thought so.. too funny, so we graduated to the outside, chatted and went back to the motel. we spent the rest of our funds at publix the south east grocery chain, to save money, and the manager of the store made friends with us that first day, and each time we went in he'd find us some how.. and offer us a pleasant greeting.. frankly this has to be the nicest publix I've ever been to,, in the eighteen years i lived in florida i never knew one employee at a store i frequented every other day.. unbelievable..
thursday we went to pick up my booth set up, at my former residence, and friday we set up. and off to the financial sales race we were, early in the morning.. I had a strategy and was working it, probably to death, but did do relatively well, saturday, was brutally hot and humid, i was wet all day, my hair became a curly sue disaster!! but as no one knows how it was or should look compliments to my frieze was frequent.. so many elderly, that is likely they would have needed a better prescription to see i looked like hell.. with a big smile on my face and cheer to go around.. surprisingly not one really interesting conversation took place most of the weekend, a fellow artisan spent the weekend sharing, innuendo with me, which was good for a laugh, and some really older man whom id met years before, who sells pearls and stones, innuendo hah, thought i was the catch of the weekend and hit on me, from his electric chair!! FUCK!! he explained that years before upon our first meeting, i had flirted with him. I said "what in your wildest dreams would make u think that, i was a married woman and never ever looked at another man in my entire marriage", i hardly look now.. !! as the pervert tried to look down my blouse and up my dress, what the…. before u know it he and his electric chair which he'd driven into my booth, were gone.. jackass.. being a woman is really something.. just because we look at a man, and are polite hardly constitutes flirtation.. oddly the poor bastard came back 3 times on sunday to say hi, and i blew him off each time.. and thats not what your thinking!! ewwww.. guess NO means maybe to some.. and yes to others, whatever happened to the meaning of NO anyway, guess we often cant reely make up our minds, so we say no and then renege.. i myself rarely do that, if ever, oh well ..of course there are some exceptions! life, as confusing as can be..
Sunday, was even hotter, and i slashed prices to their bottom price and moved gems out!! in the end i did do well, and frankly barely made a dent in the inventory i have, good thing, off to work in a few weeks to the sunshine state again for my most beloved show, Sunfest, where i will spend the weekend, selling and enjoying the company of friends, blessed as always..
I am writing from the fair skies of my flight aboard united/continental.. at last, but they are a bit behind the times and haven't wi fi, what's this world coming too? technology i love it when we have it, so i will have to postpone my published piece till i land..
i was tortured to have not written and posted last saturday, so i appreciate my understanding readers for my latest broadcast, from which i have little life analogies today, only to say i am looking forward to going home to my safe apt, with my darling children, who love me, and putting my arms tightly around them.. and to be in my own shower, my bed, my kitchen.. my town.. and in my car.. easter to come, and my fun week, with my pair of pixies to share it with and slip some needed work in too..
what i would most like to say is this, one does appreciate a bit more what one has when for a moment in time, there is a break, when for a bit separated for what ever reason, a wealth of appreciation for a treasured friend, family member, or ones beloved children, is then restored to it's natural state, be it ever changing, still where it is meant to be.. for now..
with the greatest love and gratitude for my children, friends, and (fantasy lovers!!) {tell me that's not funny} as i leave some and reunite with others.. kisses to all!!
Andrea and my absent Crew
Saturday 9 April 2011
Going the distance
Well todays a big day, Maddie has to go to rehearsal, and I have yet a few more items to finish for my big trips to florida. I have been very productive, having made numerous necklaces and bracelets, out of the 1000's of dollars of pearls and stones, even left over crystal. my camera is broken or I'd take photos, maybe I will borrow Maddie's camera, for now. If thats not enough we have to clean up around here as all I've been doing is making jewelry, and unlike my typical weeks where I write nearly everyday, I have barely written anything. I have found I can manage one artistic endeavor at a time, my mind is either building necklaces or writing a story, but not both, completely..
What I have discovered over the last 2 weeks is that, I can still make and design some dam pretty things. It has been very rewarding, nothing will be more rewarding than to find the owners to these nice pieces, and getting the money. not only does that add to the feeling the designs are good, if not great, it sure helps out the bottom line.. and there's an area which needs vast improvement, and now!!
I have found it has been very therapeutic, the place the mind goes when I'm making the necklaces, like when driving, paying attention to what I'm doing and in that moment, lots of time to think, work things out in my mind, spend time weighing one idea, or thought over another.
I was recalling the very first long distant drive, I ever took, by myself, My first car was a Volks Wagon 1957 bug, with the oval rear window. I bought it with my own money, paid cash, all $500. at the time, from a car dealer, if you'd call it that, Rent a wreck. I was 17 years old, my dad had spent the summer teaching me to drive, by making me read every single sign along the highway home. and I mean every single sign.. he taught me how to pay attention to the rear view mirror, relentlessly checking it, to see what was going on behind me, and when to start a turn. Gleb had raced Ferrari's and was taught to really drive from Sterling Moss, an English race car driver if I recall correctly.. so I can say, I too learned, indirectly, to drive, by Sterling!!
My first job, and one of the few I ever had, with a time card, was at the New York Bakery, a job I didn't want, but my dad insisted everyone in Durango has a job at my age of 16 so I would work also, and reluctantly took the job.. I started as a dishwasher!! and later they promoted me to the counter, where a shy, girl who didn't speak to anyone, myself, didn't want to go but by the time this came up I didn't want to leave the job, I'd found a respite, of sorts, and a place I fit in for the first time. I made friends with my co workers, I was still in high school, and continued working there from the summer before my 12 grade year, till after I graduated.
Getting slowly to my story, of my first long distant drive, one of my co-workers who had left and moved to Denver from Durango, co. invited me to her up coming wedding, in Denver.. I accepted and without a thought, got myself together and drove to Denver, in the bug.. 300 miles. I'd never driven by myself that far.. I can recall the drive like it was yesterday, the winding mountain road, the valleys, as I left so early in the morning, the shadowed road around the bending highway, cliffs soaring to the sky in one direction and down the cliff to the winding river..far below, and they call this the rocky mountains for a reason.
The stunning blaring sun as I drove, the radio reception in and out as I would take one turn and then the next, the feel of the road, so defined, under the thin frame of the old vw. It was so cold I had a blanket on my lap, and could see my breath in the air.. yep u guessed it, no heat!! it was spring if, I recall, so the new leaves glistened on the aspens, the mountains covered in snow, everything sparkled, like the jewelry I so love to make!! the vibrant lime green leaves, the white of the snow against the cloudless, deep clean blue skies, being tickled by the tips of the mountain peaks. nothing could be more stunning.. This is where the term breath taking must have begun, it certainly did for me, as I daydreamed out the window, watching the road disappear, beyond the hood of my beige bug as I came around a corner, and into the shade of the mountain, I hit black ice, and my feather weight vehicle went flying, into donuts, round and round till it came to a dead halt, into the guard rail, my heart pounding as it had never before. I could hardly move, I wasn't hurt, just so shocked by this event.. and like a miracle, came a man, to help, I hadn't seen a car on the road, most of the drive, we pushed the vw, off the guard rail, the only thing between me and the plunging cliff, the sound of the rapid, moving river, below. as though silenced, in my surprise, I can remember my whole body trembling, not from the cold brisk air, but my near death! I even think I was deafened in the moment, not a sound, even as I looked down that cliff at the river so far below. As we pushed the car off the rail, I could begin to hear the sound of my boots, slipping on the invisible ice, that had brought me to this barrier, and then the sound of rustling leaves on the trees, the babble of the river and then the start of the car as I turned the key to restart it. and as though nothing had happened, at least 150 miles into the journey, no point in turning back, but forward, to Denver.. and I thought not a moment more about the accident, and haven't till now, as I recall that first trip. seemingly a million years ago, like it wasn't even my life. but it was, and who would have ever guessed in a million years I would do the amount of driving, I have since.
I can recall the sight of this valley as I drove later, a wild flower field, of what were likely buttercups, that stretched as far as the base of the sky scraping, rocky mountains, I don't think there was one part of the drive that wasn't beautiful. in the silence of the empty road, just the sound of the wind as it came in my cracked window, my mind filled with thoughts, probably no different than now, wondering what would become of my life, and at the same time, not thinking at all, but just living in the moment. not concerning myself with what dumb thing someone had said to me, or dragging myself to some pit because life wasn't easy, but engulfed by the sensation of beauty all around me..
Funny enough I can not recall the trip back, just the adventure of getting there.. maybe this is life itself, the where with all to move forward, not spend too much time dwelling on the trip back but the trip we are going on, forward at 60 mph, the wind in our hair, the sweet sounds, of rivers and leaves, the shinning sun, warm, in the cold air, against bare cheeks, a balance. with the joy of anticipation, for what lies around the next corner. at any moment, even the scariest of accidents, can lead to good.. and certainly by some grace of god, will come someone to help!! when in need. and that no matter where we go, we are always with ourselves, our best friend, but not our only best friend, just our first.. That feeling of freedom, as we travel to the unknown destiny, but a mere map, with lines representing a series of roads, any one of which we can choose, to head north, east, south, or west, directed by the unconscious, till we become conscious! And find our own direction. Turn right at the "Y" in the road, but Left is good too, in the end, it is where we were meant to go.
Don't ya just wanna drive, I do.. keep heading towards the unknown, with cheer!! hooray, for another day!!
may yours be filled with great adventures in the week to come!
find the scent of the flowers, a new bloom in the mists of spring, the warm sun, on your arm out the window.
As I relish in the joy of the sound of "Good morning Mommy" from my children.
Andrea and Crew
What I have discovered over the last 2 weeks is that, I can still make and design some dam pretty things. It has been very rewarding, nothing will be more rewarding than to find the owners to these nice pieces, and getting the money. not only does that add to the feeling the designs are good, if not great, it sure helps out the bottom line.. and there's an area which needs vast improvement, and now!!
I have found it has been very therapeutic, the place the mind goes when I'm making the necklaces, like when driving, paying attention to what I'm doing and in that moment, lots of time to think, work things out in my mind, spend time weighing one idea, or thought over another.
I was recalling the very first long distant drive, I ever took, by myself, My first car was a Volks Wagon 1957 bug, with the oval rear window. I bought it with my own money, paid cash, all $500. at the time, from a car dealer, if you'd call it that, Rent a wreck. I was 17 years old, my dad had spent the summer teaching me to drive, by making me read every single sign along the highway home. and I mean every single sign.. he taught me how to pay attention to the rear view mirror, relentlessly checking it, to see what was going on behind me, and when to start a turn. Gleb had raced Ferrari's and was taught to really drive from Sterling Moss, an English race car driver if I recall correctly.. so I can say, I too learned, indirectly, to drive, by Sterling!!
My first job, and one of the few I ever had, with a time card, was at the New York Bakery, a job I didn't want, but my dad insisted everyone in Durango has a job at my age of 16 so I would work also, and reluctantly took the job.. I started as a dishwasher!! and later they promoted me to the counter, where a shy, girl who didn't speak to anyone, myself, didn't want to go but by the time this came up I didn't want to leave the job, I'd found a respite, of sorts, and a place I fit in for the first time. I made friends with my co workers, I was still in high school, and continued working there from the summer before my 12 grade year, till after I graduated.
Getting slowly to my story, of my first long distant drive, one of my co-workers who had left and moved to Denver from Durango, co. invited me to her up coming wedding, in Denver.. I accepted and without a thought, got myself together and drove to Denver, in the bug.. 300 miles. I'd never driven by myself that far.. I can recall the drive like it was yesterday, the winding mountain road, the valleys, as I left so early in the morning, the shadowed road around the bending highway, cliffs soaring to the sky in one direction and down the cliff to the winding river..far below, and they call this the rocky mountains for a reason.
The stunning blaring sun as I drove, the radio reception in and out as I would take one turn and then the next, the feel of the road, so defined, under the thin frame of the old vw. It was so cold I had a blanket on my lap, and could see my breath in the air.. yep u guessed it, no heat!! it was spring if, I recall, so the new leaves glistened on the aspens, the mountains covered in snow, everything sparkled, like the jewelry I so love to make!! the vibrant lime green leaves, the white of the snow against the cloudless, deep clean blue skies, being tickled by the tips of the mountain peaks. nothing could be more stunning.. This is where the term breath taking must have begun, it certainly did for me, as I daydreamed out the window, watching the road disappear, beyond the hood of my beige bug as I came around a corner, and into the shade of the mountain, I hit black ice, and my feather weight vehicle went flying, into donuts, round and round till it came to a dead halt, into the guard rail, my heart pounding as it had never before. I could hardly move, I wasn't hurt, just so shocked by this event.. and like a miracle, came a man, to help, I hadn't seen a car on the road, most of the drive, we pushed the vw, off the guard rail, the only thing between me and the plunging cliff, the sound of the rapid, moving river, below. as though silenced, in my surprise, I can remember my whole body trembling, not from the cold brisk air, but my near death! I even think I was deafened in the moment, not a sound, even as I looked down that cliff at the river so far below. As we pushed the car off the rail, I could begin to hear the sound of my boots, slipping on the invisible ice, that had brought me to this barrier, and then the sound of rustling leaves on the trees, the babble of the river and then the start of the car as I turned the key to restart it. and as though nothing had happened, at least 150 miles into the journey, no point in turning back, but forward, to Denver.. and I thought not a moment more about the accident, and haven't till now, as I recall that first trip. seemingly a million years ago, like it wasn't even my life. but it was, and who would have ever guessed in a million years I would do the amount of driving, I have since.
I can recall the sight of this valley as I drove later, a wild flower field, of what were likely buttercups, that stretched as far as the base of the sky scraping, rocky mountains, I don't think there was one part of the drive that wasn't beautiful. in the silence of the empty road, just the sound of the wind as it came in my cracked window, my mind filled with thoughts, probably no different than now, wondering what would become of my life, and at the same time, not thinking at all, but just living in the moment. not concerning myself with what dumb thing someone had said to me, or dragging myself to some pit because life wasn't easy, but engulfed by the sensation of beauty all around me..
Funny enough I can not recall the trip back, just the adventure of getting there.. maybe this is life itself, the where with all to move forward, not spend too much time dwelling on the trip back but the trip we are going on, forward at 60 mph, the wind in our hair, the sweet sounds, of rivers and leaves, the shinning sun, warm, in the cold air, against bare cheeks, a balance. with the joy of anticipation, for what lies around the next corner. at any moment, even the scariest of accidents, can lead to good.. and certainly by some grace of god, will come someone to help!! when in need. and that no matter where we go, we are always with ourselves, our best friend, but not our only best friend, just our first.. That feeling of freedom, as we travel to the unknown destiny, but a mere map, with lines representing a series of roads, any one of which we can choose, to head north, east, south, or west, directed by the unconscious, till we become conscious! And find our own direction. Turn right at the "Y" in the road, but Left is good too, in the end, it is where we were meant to go.
Don't ya just wanna drive, I do.. keep heading towards the unknown, with cheer!! hooray, for another day!!
may yours be filled with great adventures in the week to come!
find the scent of the flowers, a new bloom in the mists of spring, the warm sun, on your arm out the window.
As I relish in the joy of the sound of "Good morning Mommy" from my children.
Andrea and Crew
Saturday 2 April 2011
TIME..
As I sit, this morn, about to run out the door, to take miss madeline to her rehearsals, at school, wonder what shall I say today.
I spent the day yesterday doing something I rarely give myself, Time. for self.. I don't give it to myself simply because I am not actually taking in an income, but living off what little savings I have left while re-sculpting my life, and what I will do to bring in the bacon!! This, as many who are not working, around the country as well as the world, know to well, by far the hardest work there is, and if one has a grain of salt, wouldn't take a minute off, knowing every minute off, is a minute more of time, not dedicated to making the income needed to support a family. But I did, I took half the day, It was hot, at last, and the sun shown brightly while it blazed extreme heat, making our apt. about 90 degrees, much too hot.. seemly our apt is either too frigging cold, or too hot. would it be too much to have a happy medium, in temperature much less life itself!!
With my pending trip to florida to work 2 art shows there, I thought it might be nice to have a little color on my body, as I am as pale as I've ever been. I really wanted to go to the beach, but couldn't get a unanimous vote so succumbed to the pool down stairs, I grabbed my Ban de Soeil and 2 books, and a sarong, placed myself in a chair and began to read..
Last fall, after I left the cape, I dared Joe to drive down from the cape, as a lark, to New york, where I was to depart, for my next locale to sell, and of all things he did!! A five hour drive, to arrive at some ungodly hour, tent, and a gift, over coffee the next morn. Hahahaha, wow.. anyway, he brought this book to me, "on Life After Death" a short book in pages, filled with some of the most profound observations by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who spent her life with those who were dying, from the very old to the youngest of children and documented her experiences with them and the resounding similarities they all shared over a 20 year study.
The spiritual ramifications were what was most resound. That we live here in this embodiment of humanity to Love unconditionally. That we should not put up walls that limit our advancement, by the "if's" if i were thin, if i were taller, shorter, smarter, younger, older, richer, or worse, that someone else were younger, older, shorter, taller, thinner, fatter, richer we could love them more. or that we limit ourselves, that moment in time, of great love because society or otherwise dictates so. and that through the years of spending time, in the beginning, with older dying patients, their only regret was that they hadn't spent the time they would have liked, with those they most loved, like family and friends.
She spoke of criticism from others, and its effects, only to remind me that, the opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not ours. (let me add as i am reading also Think and Grow rich) As long as we take control of our own mind. as long as we are doing the work, of our own choosing, with passion and rightfulness, that shall benefit others, as well as ourselves with a clear conscious of good, we should not be effected.. Like I was last week, over some dumb comment by another, more cynical. That being a lesson for me to find and learn..There really isn't room in our lives for that much consumption, of others jealousies, lack of understanding, cynicism, which detract from our full profits, of love, spirituality, and reaping the wealth that allows us time for those needs which expand our hearts and minds.
She explained we, even in our apparent loneliest states, are in fact not alone, as the spirit world, the universe, its greater love, is always there to give us a hand, when we reach out for it. That those of us dreaming of the optimum life, keep dreaming, without dreams there is no way to have what one wants, and no one should come between you and your aspirations, for the material, which buy you Time, which as Dr Ross mentions is not promised, a constant, I am reminded of. Isn't that interesting? I think so. There is nothing but NOW, not yesterday, other than to reflect, and gain knowledge to appreciate NOW.
I was watching book channel or something and they were talking about the educational system and how to improve it, mentioning that only one time in recent history, were we ever so productive, as opportunities, arose, from of all times the depression, and how we, or at least a few, took advantage of the bleakest times and made huge successful companies, by now, some of the most well known, and each of those people, never gave the situation a thought, but made a silks purse from a sows ear.. if you will. with little doubt apparently that it wouldn't be possible. and oddly enough, were quiet in touch with something they perceived as greater power than just existing here. It is that mind set, that I now embrace, as I think that maybe we are promised at least tomorrow, to accomplish these many goals and learn these many lessons, life has to give, freely, when our mind, heart and soul are open to them, to share with others, without any fears, of any kind.. That we keep striving towards greater love. to give and receive.
On this journey of a road trip that we are all on, may we all be granted the Time we so seek to be with those we love, and love us, be able to work in the work we love, that allows us TIME. Lets all do what we love with the knowledge that the money will come!! as well as the time!!
Let me say only that as I read more, of these types of philosophies by writing down my interpretation I consume the info. for myself and my crew while sharing this with you my readers, for my benefit, if nothing else, to be a better person. And do what I set out to do, what I intended to do while on this journey, Of a Road Trip!!
I hope this makes some sense!!
Most love and light
Andrea
and Crew
I spent the day yesterday doing something I rarely give myself, Time. for self.. I don't give it to myself simply because I am not actually taking in an income, but living off what little savings I have left while re-sculpting my life, and what I will do to bring in the bacon!! This, as many who are not working, around the country as well as the world, know to well, by far the hardest work there is, and if one has a grain of salt, wouldn't take a minute off, knowing every minute off, is a minute more of time, not dedicated to making the income needed to support a family. But I did, I took half the day, It was hot, at last, and the sun shown brightly while it blazed extreme heat, making our apt. about 90 degrees, much too hot.. seemly our apt is either too frigging cold, or too hot. would it be too much to have a happy medium, in temperature much less life itself!!
With my pending trip to florida to work 2 art shows there, I thought it might be nice to have a little color on my body, as I am as pale as I've ever been. I really wanted to go to the beach, but couldn't get a unanimous vote so succumbed to the pool down stairs, I grabbed my Ban de Soeil and 2 books, and a sarong, placed myself in a chair and began to read..
Last fall, after I left the cape, I dared Joe to drive down from the cape, as a lark, to New york, where I was to depart, for my next locale to sell, and of all things he did!! A five hour drive, to arrive at some ungodly hour, tent, and a gift, over coffee the next morn. Hahahaha, wow.. anyway, he brought this book to me, "on Life After Death" a short book in pages, filled with some of the most profound observations by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who spent her life with those who were dying, from the very old to the youngest of children and documented her experiences with them and the resounding similarities they all shared over a 20 year study.
The spiritual ramifications were what was most resound. That we live here in this embodiment of humanity to Love unconditionally. That we should not put up walls that limit our advancement, by the "if's" if i were thin, if i were taller, shorter, smarter, younger, older, richer, or worse, that someone else were younger, older, shorter, taller, thinner, fatter, richer we could love them more. or that we limit ourselves, that moment in time, of great love because society or otherwise dictates so. and that through the years of spending time, in the beginning, with older dying patients, their only regret was that they hadn't spent the time they would have liked, with those they most loved, like family and friends.
She spoke of criticism from others, and its effects, only to remind me that, the opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not ours. (let me add as i am reading also Think and Grow rich) As long as we take control of our own mind. as long as we are doing the work, of our own choosing, with passion and rightfulness, that shall benefit others, as well as ourselves with a clear conscious of good, we should not be effected.. Like I was last week, over some dumb comment by another, more cynical. That being a lesson for me to find and learn..There really isn't room in our lives for that much consumption, of others jealousies, lack of understanding, cynicism, which detract from our full profits, of love, spirituality, and reaping the wealth that allows us time for those needs which expand our hearts and minds.
She explained we, even in our apparent loneliest states, are in fact not alone, as the spirit world, the universe, its greater love, is always there to give us a hand, when we reach out for it. That those of us dreaming of the optimum life, keep dreaming, without dreams there is no way to have what one wants, and no one should come between you and your aspirations, for the material, which buy you Time, which as Dr Ross mentions is not promised, a constant, I am reminded of. Isn't that interesting? I think so. There is nothing but NOW, not yesterday, other than to reflect, and gain knowledge to appreciate NOW.
I was watching book channel or something and they were talking about the educational system and how to improve it, mentioning that only one time in recent history, were we ever so productive, as opportunities, arose, from of all times the depression, and how we, or at least a few, took advantage of the bleakest times and made huge successful companies, by now, some of the most well known, and each of those people, never gave the situation a thought, but made a silks purse from a sows ear.. if you will. with little doubt apparently that it wouldn't be possible. and oddly enough, were quiet in touch with something they perceived as greater power than just existing here. It is that mind set, that I now embrace, as I think that maybe we are promised at least tomorrow, to accomplish these many goals and learn these many lessons, life has to give, freely, when our mind, heart and soul are open to them, to share with others, without any fears, of any kind.. That we keep striving towards greater love. to give and receive.
On this journey of a road trip that we are all on, may we all be granted the Time we so seek to be with those we love, and love us, be able to work in the work we love, that allows us TIME. Lets all do what we love with the knowledge that the money will come!! as well as the time!!
Let me say only that as I read more, of these types of philosophies by writing down my interpretation I consume the info. for myself and my crew while sharing this with you my readers, for my benefit, if nothing else, to be a better person. And do what I set out to do, what I intended to do while on this journey, Of a Road Trip!!
I hope this makes some sense!!
Most love and light
Andrea
and Crew
Friday 1 April 2011
It is friday night, and every friday night i sit, when at last there's peace, and wonder what it is i will write about on saturday, i have still no idea. so many thoughts another week passed, and its lessons.. what will i bring to the table tomorrow.. what in my dreams will i put to words? so many thoughts..
Till then,
I post my process
Andrea and crew to sleep
Amen
Till then,
I post my process
Andrea and crew to sleep
Amen
Saturday 26 March 2011
Donating from the HEART or NOT, You decide
This, to follow is a letter I received yesterday in response to my Ad campaign for UYE. From a so called friend, now, I wouldn't say we are best friends, by any means, I meet Elliot, maybe 30 years ago, when I was in my 20's, in connecticut, when my mom and I were living there. I have no recall as to how we all met. Just that over spaghetti fest, he, now living here in Los Angeles came, and it was fun to reminisce about a segment of my life, I've felt as of late that each 10 year interval was like a separate life.
For those of you who are not on my mailing list, that read my blog from the far reaches of the globe, I will post, after this the letters I sent out, and judge for yourself, I could be so wrong..but for those that have been reading my blog, and my feelings on so many subjects which I share quiet openly, no holds bar, one would think they get a feeling of truth, and honesty about me.. if not, I am disappointed. In myself for not conveying my deepest heart felt thoughts in a way that are received as so.
It actually pains me to think that one could actually think, that I would exploit a natural disaster, for my own selfish needs, like food, an roof over my head, for the sake of my children, cause I by myself could quiet easily move into my motorhome and live there, at campgrounds or parking lots, for all I care. But that is not an option. and my crew are my first and foremost priority.
I see no donations or good will from others throwing moneys my way while I struggle to figure out how on earth I am going to get by, while the lavish, have expensive things I wouldn't dream of purchasing, at this time, or maybe ever.. not because I won't be extremely wealthy in the near future, but I might find it a waste of funds, one never knows when the "fat Cow" will slim down, like now..at the moment my T.V in my bed room died, my phone is not working well, my camera, which is an extension to my arm broke, and I am shopping at the 99 cent store for groceries. For those outside Los Angeles this is hardly a grocery store.. I've had to give up beef as it is too expensive to buy, looked at a pot roast at Smart and Final it was $20. oh just forget that!! what was once a treat is now extravagant, can one imagine pot roast extravagant.. who could have ever figured..
By no means am I complaining, just stating the facts as I see them, under duress, of circumstances I am working to change daily when I'm not over whelmed with emotion, concerning other issues in my life, for which I keep private.
It was brought to my attention, by Roseanne that plenty of large companies encourage sales by donating a portion of their sales to charities all the time, but when one minute business such as I have, Up Your Ear, it is exploitative. I never in my wildest dreams felt that way and anyone reading this blog, must know that was not at all my intention, but simply, that I was so moved and saddened by the event of the earthquake, and the devastation, left behind after the tsunami, I could hardly believe my eyes, and that this will be, for the Japanese a long road back to recovery. I myself living with so little could only help in this small way and if I could encourage sales by donating $10 per pair of earrings sold, no matter the retail value, it would be a way to help in the only way I could. My sales were meager to say the least, at 2 pairs this week, one offered by a friend, Coreen, from New York, who generously bought one pair of the 2 I sold.. I was able to put up $24. and change towards the American Red Cross, and in that I am grateful. I have never donated anything before, as I never really could afford it, and found that this might be a way, and so it was, meager at best, but a donation never the less.. and if that is exploitive , then so be it, less exploitive than many others that line their pockets, like the credit cards I accept that offer cash rewards to card holders and take all the credit for these same money back rewards, when in fact it comes from the pocket of those merchants that accept those same cards, a larger percentage is taken from the merchant to make up for the cash rewards returned to card holders using them, most card holders don't even know that.. and who may I ask benefits from that? Visa, Mastercard, and Discover, at the expense of the merchant, who receives Zero credit, acknowledgement for accepting said cards..And does anyone give grief to Target who donate to local schools from their profits? do we exclaim how exploitive that is, and how, we should stop shopping there, for how dare they make themselves out to be a better company with a heart for doing so, Not that I know of, in fact I'm proud to shop there, when I can, cause I know a portion of my purchases is going to a good cause.. and what better cause, but education, HELPING OTHERS!! as I just offered in my promotion. I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY EFFORT. I AM PROUD I FIGURED A WAY TO HELP, AND AT A HUGE EXPENSE if u ask me, do the math, if a pair of earrings runs between $48. and $68. I offered more than 20% of my sales to the effort of helping others while Helping feed my family, anyone one in my financial situation making this effort? I put myself out there, on the line to be ridiculed rather than praised, and I don't give a dam what anyone thinks. Jesus didn't and he would likely set the standard, of good deed doer!! I am not religious, I do not believe that organized religion makes for a loving peaceful, existence, as we fight way to much around the globe over these things which are for said good, but when it comes to the good of the world he, Jesus did set the bar.. selflessly. I will hardly be ever that good, nor will many of us, maybe Mahatma Gandi, another one.. and I'm sure the list goes on.. What they had was faith they were doing good, for the sake of good, what I did was good also, for others, my crew, the forlorn in Japan. so condemn me as u will.. For those that didn't read my blog, right after the earthquake hit, go back and read it, and everyone will know that my only intention was to help.. and if the sales fed my family this week then so be it to, I am everlastingly grateful to those that considered helping and couldn't or made donations of their own, prior to having a chance to purchase UYE earrings.. I feel if anyone wants to help 2 entities, such as Japan and my family, then u are truly more than your ordinary persons, but extraordinary, knowing, what comes around goes around. My heart is filled with love for friends, around the globe, that each of us has our own struggles, with life, be it money, love, loss, while still holding your head high and getting out of bed when sometimes even a sunny day seems like rain.. It isn't easy, everyday can be as beautiful as we make it, and it is by far more difficult when the cards are stacked against you. DON'T despair, I swear we will all do better by being better, in any little effort we make.. This was mine.. Take it or leave it..
Please feel free to visit my website, I have extended the dead line of my contributions, for one more week, to see if I can continue to make a difference, from my heart, and no place else.. while the news moves on to other world events the japanese and my crew are still struggling to do our best in the vastness of life's events..
and incidentally, for the first time since writing this blog I made every effort to capitalize the Letter I, to make a point.. it is Time I realize I count too.. as should you, recognize you count. And with that, count our blessings, The sun is certainly shinning on the other side of the clouds!! lets get there together!! one day at a time!! let the universe hear our good will, and reward each of us, our dreams come true..
write to me tell me your dreams, get them down on paper!! I'd love to hear them..
Mine:
Up Your Ear becomes a Household name by dec. 31st, 2011
I write publish my book a CinderELLA a modern day princess
I write the sequel..
That 20% of my proceeds go to Education, from all entities for which my profits come
That with all this, it allows me the time I have left with my growing children to spend, with them, not working all the time. and making sure they get the education I did not. The love I did not get growing up, that I continue to strive to be a better person, flawed but ambitious to all these endeavors!!
That my health and wealth, out last the test of time, and I leave a legacy to make my children proud to say I Am and was their mother.. and friends to continue to share that love with. and the growth we all have, in each and every week that passes ever so quickly by.
Andrea and Crew
and finally I'm sure there is more to add to this list!!
Here is are links for the ads I sent out, feel free to read you may have to copy and paste I'm not sure:
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=ecx99deab&v=001NbQR3PfROKmzPzTs7FP7iNwcXkv2y_VzBIZIeRxlFaRF8Wg1mXUFkLM1cj5ZfLa5NtQyAtKA-RkIMZQ8kJqFd0LdL6rLOT-i0d29QJI2zhxdIKaEtC4fTbXuiRhPyuCMQOp1_XZ8Sv4%3D
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=ecx99deab&v=001qwhULkbmHDsuZd4HFeRcIBuCbXh2gEROq9q56tu-
"Hi Andrea -- Just so you know, I made a contribution without buying earrings from you. All the money I sent (at least equal to set of earrings) went to Japanese relief instead of 90% of the money going to you. Nothing personal, Andrea, but I found your offer to be a bit on the exploitive side. That may be why only 2 out 700 people responded to your offer. Maybe the other 698 people felt the same way I did. I hope you and the kids are doing well. Stay in touch."
Your friend, Elliot
For those of you who are not on my mailing list, that read my blog from the far reaches of the globe, I will post, after this the letters I sent out, and judge for yourself, I could be so wrong..but for those that have been reading my blog, and my feelings on so many subjects which I share quiet openly, no holds bar, one would think they get a feeling of truth, and honesty about me.. if not, I am disappointed. In myself for not conveying my deepest heart felt thoughts in a way that are received as so.
It actually pains me to think that one could actually think, that I would exploit a natural disaster, for my own selfish needs, like food, an roof over my head, for the sake of my children, cause I by myself could quiet easily move into my motorhome and live there, at campgrounds or parking lots, for all I care. But that is not an option. and my crew are my first and foremost priority.
I see no donations or good will from others throwing moneys my way while I struggle to figure out how on earth I am going to get by, while the lavish, have expensive things I wouldn't dream of purchasing, at this time, or maybe ever.. not because I won't be extremely wealthy in the near future, but I might find it a waste of funds, one never knows when the "fat Cow" will slim down, like now..at the moment my T.V in my bed room died, my phone is not working well, my camera, which is an extension to my arm broke, and I am shopping at the 99 cent store for groceries. For those outside Los Angeles this is hardly a grocery store.. I've had to give up beef as it is too expensive to buy, looked at a pot roast at Smart and Final it was $20. oh just forget that!! what was once a treat is now extravagant, can one imagine pot roast extravagant.. who could have ever figured..
By no means am I complaining, just stating the facts as I see them, under duress, of circumstances I am working to change daily when I'm not over whelmed with emotion, concerning other issues in my life, for which I keep private.
It was brought to my attention, by Roseanne that plenty of large companies encourage sales by donating a portion of their sales to charities all the time, but when one minute business such as I have, Up Your Ear, it is exploitative. I never in my wildest dreams felt that way and anyone reading this blog, must know that was not at all my intention, but simply, that I was so moved and saddened by the event of the earthquake, and the devastation, left behind after the tsunami, I could hardly believe my eyes, and that this will be, for the Japanese a long road back to recovery. I myself living with so little could only help in this small way and if I could encourage sales by donating $10 per pair of earrings sold, no matter the retail value, it would be a way to help in the only way I could. My sales were meager to say the least, at 2 pairs this week, one offered by a friend, Coreen, from New York, who generously bought one pair of the 2 I sold.. I was able to put up $24. and change towards the American Red Cross, and in that I am grateful. I have never donated anything before, as I never really could afford it, and found that this might be a way, and so it was, meager at best, but a donation never the less.. and if that is exploitive , then so be it, less exploitive than many others that line their pockets, like the credit cards I accept that offer cash rewards to card holders and take all the credit for these same money back rewards, when in fact it comes from the pocket of those merchants that accept those same cards, a larger percentage is taken from the merchant to make up for the cash rewards returned to card holders using them, most card holders don't even know that.. and who may I ask benefits from that? Visa, Mastercard, and Discover, at the expense of the merchant, who receives Zero credit, acknowledgement for accepting said cards..And does anyone give grief to Target who donate to local schools from their profits? do we exclaim how exploitive that is, and how, we should stop shopping there, for how dare they make themselves out to be a better company with a heart for doing so, Not that I know of, in fact I'm proud to shop there, when I can, cause I know a portion of my purchases is going to a good cause.. and what better cause, but education, HELPING OTHERS!! as I just offered in my promotion. I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY EFFORT. I AM PROUD I FIGURED A WAY TO HELP, AND AT A HUGE EXPENSE if u ask me, do the math, if a pair of earrings runs between $48. and $68. I offered more than 20% of my sales to the effort of helping others while Helping feed my family, anyone one in my financial situation making this effort? I put myself out there, on the line to be ridiculed rather than praised, and I don't give a dam what anyone thinks. Jesus didn't and he would likely set the standard, of good deed doer!! I am not religious, I do not believe that organized religion makes for a loving peaceful, existence, as we fight way to much around the globe over these things which are for said good, but when it comes to the good of the world he, Jesus did set the bar.. selflessly. I will hardly be ever that good, nor will many of us, maybe Mahatma Gandi, another one.. and I'm sure the list goes on.. What they had was faith they were doing good, for the sake of good, what I did was good also, for others, my crew, the forlorn in Japan. so condemn me as u will.. For those that didn't read my blog, right after the earthquake hit, go back and read it, and everyone will know that my only intention was to help.. and if the sales fed my family this week then so be it to, I am everlastingly grateful to those that considered helping and couldn't or made donations of their own, prior to having a chance to purchase UYE earrings.. I feel if anyone wants to help 2 entities, such as Japan and my family, then u are truly more than your ordinary persons, but extraordinary, knowing, what comes around goes around. My heart is filled with love for friends, around the globe, that each of us has our own struggles, with life, be it money, love, loss, while still holding your head high and getting out of bed when sometimes even a sunny day seems like rain.. It isn't easy, everyday can be as beautiful as we make it, and it is by far more difficult when the cards are stacked against you. DON'T despair, I swear we will all do better by being better, in any little effort we make.. This was mine.. Take it or leave it..
Please feel free to visit my website, I have extended the dead line of my contributions, for one more week, to see if I can continue to make a difference, from my heart, and no place else.. while the news moves on to other world events the japanese and my crew are still struggling to do our best in the vastness of life's events..
and incidentally, for the first time since writing this blog I made every effort to capitalize the Letter I, to make a point.. it is Time I realize I count too.. as should you, recognize you count. And with that, count our blessings, The sun is certainly shinning on the other side of the clouds!! lets get there together!! one day at a time!! let the universe hear our good will, and reward each of us, our dreams come true..
write to me tell me your dreams, get them down on paper!! I'd love to hear them..
Mine:
Up Your Ear becomes a Household name by dec. 31st, 2011
I write publish my book a CinderELLA a modern day princess
I write the sequel..
That 20% of my proceeds go to Education, from all entities for which my profits come
That with all this, it allows me the time I have left with my growing children to spend, with them, not working all the time. and making sure they get the education I did not. The love I did not get growing up, that I continue to strive to be a better person, flawed but ambitious to all these endeavors!!
That my health and wealth, out last the test of time, and I leave a legacy to make my children proud to say I Am and was their mother.. and friends to continue to share that love with. and the growth we all have, in each and every week that passes ever so quickly by.
Andrea and Crew
and finally I'm sure there is more to add to this list!!
Here is are links for the ads I sent out, feel free to read you may have to copy and paste I'm not sure:
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=ecx99deab&v=001NbQR3PfROKmzPzTs7FP7iNwcXkv2y_VzBIZIeRxlFaRF8Wg1mXUFkLM1cj5ZfLa5NtQyAtKA-RkIMZQ8kJqFd0LdL6rLOT-i0d29QJI2zhxdIKaEtC4fTbXuiRhPyuCMQOp1_XZ8Sv4%3D
http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=ecx99deab&v=001qwhULkbmHDsuZd4HFeRcIBuCbXh2gEROq9q56tu-
Saturday 19 March 2011
once upon a teacher
Well, here it is again, Saturday, and i am writing, as though i didn't write enough this week, i wrote 2 email letters for up your ear which each took me nearly a day to write edit and send, and i wrote, a few poems, one of which was included in my email to promote sales for my website, and then added to my book in progress, a cinderella story.. answered several emails, Oh and wrote to the president. I'm probably on the watch list!!
just so u know I am up in arms about the school layoffs here in california.. and gave mr. President my piece of mind while they all bullshit us about health care and education in one breath and then take away with yet the other.. if you are unaware, 22,000 teachers and staff of all sorts were given the pink slip this week.. and class sizes will be increased from 24 students to 29, ah whats 5 more students per teacher anyway, right? 23,000 were laid off year before last, bringing the total to 45,000, out of a job. Our future is dimmed by the thought that what might be great thinkers will never be.. maybe after reading writing and basic math, we should be just fine.. and as the class size increases, they will get less attentions and therefore likely not do as well.. while i heard the prez say we are lowering the standard of standardized tests, why we have to or how would our children pass, and if left behind, u might have to rehire the staff of teachers u just let go, in order to handle those left behind.. and whos to say, that the remaining teachers are the select group, to bring our future infrastructure, our peoples, to bring their best, into a future, so unpredictable..
Unless you are self taught or home schooled just forget it, while your thinking college is an option, likely not for most, and just as well, who wants to come out the other end, with debts of $50,000-100,000 just so one can work for 10 yrs after, to repay the astronomical loan, that doesn't guarantee a great paying career, with benefits, which come out of your paycheck anyway..
and how about all those in college now studying to be educators, HUH? what about them you ask, well what career do they have to look forward to now, after spending 2,3, or nearly 4 years in a university, just to find theirs no hope for a job in the education field in which they set their entire education on.. what the.. so now coming out of college with unbelievable debt they can become bank tellers for those same institutions, which provided the loans, these same students will kill themselves to repay over maybe even longer, years at a lessor pay, with little chance for longevity, like a teaching career.. generally most teachers are their for the duration.. which can pay off eventually as with seniority one gets increases in pay, as well as so many other benefits.. Last year madeline's 6th grade teacher lost her position with the school board because, she had returned to teaching after letting go the chance to be principal, because her daughter was having a baby and wanted to have the freedom to be with her, so as a returning teacher her seniority was invalid, and when it came time for cuts, a teacher for 20+ years was considered a newbe and lost her job. a wonderful teacher dedicated, and was not just teaching the 6th grade class, but because of the budget had both 5th and 6th grade in one room teaching both at the same time, now talk about walking and chewing gum at the same time.. dang..she kicked butt, but no, lets throw that one out.
So, i might also mention, in the lausd district 5000 custodians were laid off as well this year, or was that last, who can keep up, only to say, that if theres a clean up in classroom 4, get it yourself is the new way, as students clean their own desks, and floors, and whatever, maybe the new detention will include cleaning toilets, but don't take that as an education cause there's no job there to be had!! just the dirty work without the pay!! oh and please don't be sick or have an accident at school on monday, tuesday, thursday or friday, they'll be no nurse available.. and please, when you come into the main office to see the vice principle she/he is only available either the first part of the week or the last as he/she has to split their schedule between 2 schools, and filing papers and what not, is now handled by students, that as an elective, take "office" now theres a future secretary, but not for the school district, as likely that position is filled by future students. Please plan on walking to school, or having your parents drive u as there are limited school buses, it is way to expensive to pay drivers and maintenance, of those said busses, and now sit, unused in lots, some where downtown..
I can not say exactly how many teachers were laid off from maddie's middle school, but from memory, as i was phoned by recording, real people are too expensive, the list, which went on and on, 12 teachers, the nurse, office staff, while i understand a few in the lausd officials got a raise, guess they found some extra cash to line their pockets with, at the risk of our future, and those that will be the decision makers of our future, god help us all, the future voter will be these same uneducated.. dam.. I say revolt, but the best i can do with my limited resources and working on working schedule is write!! and so i have..
To those that have retained their jobs at the schools, god bless the large undertaking of educating the children of america, and our future, at the risk of your sanity and mass class size.
and finally we can afford to take on Lybia, Horray!!!!
Thats it..
Andrea and crew
just so u know I am up in arms about the school layoffs here in california.. and gave mr. President my piece of mind while they all bullshit us about health care and education in one breath and then take away with yet the other.. if you are unaware, 22,000 teachers and staff of all sorts were given the pink slip this week.. and class sizes will be increased from 24 students to 29, ah whats 5 more students per teacher anyway, right? 23,000 were laid off year before last, bringing the total to 45,000, out of a job. Our future is dimmed by the thought that what might be great thinkers will never be.. maybe after reading writing and basic math, we should be just fine.. and as the class size increases, they will get less attentions and therefore likely not do as well.. while i heard the prez say we are lowering the standard of standardized tests, why we have to or how would our children pass, and if left behind, u might have to rehire the staff of teachers u just let go, in order to handle those left behind.. and whos to say, that the remaining teachers are the select group, to bring our future infrastructure, our peoples, to bring their best, into a future, so unpredictable..
Unless you are self taught or home schooled just forget it, while your thinking college is an option, likely not for most, and just as well, who wants to come out the other end, with debts of $50,000-100,000 just so one can work for 10 yrs after, to repay the astronomical loan, that doesn't guarantee a great paying career, with benefits, which come out of your paycheck anyway..
and how about all those in college now studying to be educators, HUH? what about them you ask, well what career do they have to look forward to now, after spending 2,3, or nearly 4 years in a university, just to find theirs no hope for a job in the education field in which they set their entire education on.. what the.. so now coming out of college with unbelievable debt they can become bank tellers for those same institutions, which provided the loans, these same students will kill themselves to repay over maybe even longer, years at a lessor pay, with little chance for longevity, like a teaching career.. generally most teachers are their for the duration.. which can pay off eventually as with seniority one gets increases in pay, as well as so many other benefits.. Last year madeline's 6th grade teacher lost her position with the school board because, she had returned to teaching after letting go the chance to be principal, because her daughter was having a baby and wanted to have the freedom to be with her, so as a returning teacher her seniority was invalid, and when it came time for cuts, a teacher for 20+ years was considered a newbe and lost her job. a wonderful teacher dedicated, and was not just teaching the 6th grade class, but because of the budget had both 5th and 6th grade in one room teaching both at the same time, now talk about walking and chewing gum at the same time.. dang..she kicked butt, but no, lets throw that one out.
So, i might also mention, in the lausd district 5000 custodians were laid off as well this year, or was that last, who can keep up, only to say, that if theres a clean up in classroom 4, get it yourself is the new way, as students clean their own desks, and floors, and whatever, maybe the new detention will include cleaning toilets, but don't take that as an education cause there's no job there to be had!! just the dirty work without the pay!! oh and please don't be sick or have an accident at school on monday, tuesday, thursday or friday, they'll be no nurse available.. and please, when you come into the main office to see the vice principle she/he is only available either the first part of the week or the last as he/she has to split their schedule between 2 schools, and filing papers and what not, is now handled by students, that as an elective, take "office" now theres a future secretary, but not for the school district, as likely that position is filled by future students. Please plan on walking to school, or having your parents drive u as there are limited school buses, it is way to expensive to pay drivers and maintenance, of those said busses, and now sit, unused in lots, some where downtown..
I can not say exactly how many teachers were laid off from maddie's middle school, but from memory, as i was phoned by recording, real people are too expensive, the list, which went on and on, 12 teachers, the nurse, office staff, while i understand a few in the lausd officials got a raise, guess they found some extra cash to line their pockets with, at the risk of our future, and those that will be the decision makers of our future, god help us all, the future voter will be these same uneducated.. dam.. I say revolt, but the best i can do with my limited resources and working on working schedule is write!! and so i have..
To those that have retained their jobs at the schools, god bless the large undertaking of educating the children of america, and our future, at the risk of your sanity and mass class size.
and finally we can afford to take on Lybia, Horray!!!!
Thats it..
Andrea and crew
Saturday 12 March 2011
Earthquake in Japan.. Humanity at its best, why can't we be like this everyday, instead of when there is a crisis?
Isn't is amazing how a film could last so long in a camera without disintegrating!
Fantastic photos taken 68 years ago. Some of you will have to go to a museum to see what a Brownie camera looked like......
Here is a simple picture of what we are talking about. . .
These photos are absolutely incredible.... what quality from 1941! Read below the first picture and at the end...
Pearl Harbor photos found in an old Brownie stored in a foot locker of A SAILOR WHO WAS ON THE USS QUAPAW ATF-11O, and just recently taken to be developed.
PEARL HARBOR ,December 7th, 1941
Pearl Harbor
On Sunday, December 7th, 1941 the Japanese launched a surprise attack against the U.S. Forces stationed at Pearl Harbor , Hawaii By planning this attack on a Sunday, the Japanese commander Admiral Nagumo, hoped to catch the entire fleet in port. As luck would have it, the Aircraft Carriers and one of the Battleships were not in port. (The USS Enterprise was returning from Wake Island , where it had just delivered some aircraft. The USS Lexington was ferrying aircraft to Midway, and the USS Saratoga and USS Colorado were undergoing repairs in the United States .)
In spite of the latest intelligence reports about the missing aircraft carriers (his most important targets), Admiral Nagumo decided to continue the attack with his force of six carriers and 423 aircraft. At a range of 230 miles north of Oahu , he launched the first wave of a two-wave attack. Beginning at 0600 hours his first wave consisted of 183 fighters and torpedo bombers which struck at the fleet in Pearl Harbor and the airfields in Hickam, Kaneohe and Ewa. The second strike, launched at 0715 hours, consisted of 167 aircraft, which again struck at the same targets.
At 0753 hours the first wave consisting of 40 Nakajima B5N2 'Kate' torpedo bombers, 51 Aichi D3A1 'Val' dive bombers, 50 high altitude bombers and 43 Zeros struck airfields and Pearl Harbor Within the next hour, the second wave arrived and continued the attack.
When it was over, the U.S. Losses were:
Casualties
US Army: 218 KIA, 364 WIA.
US Navy: 2,008 KIA, 710 WIA.
US MarineCorp: 109 KIA, 69 WIA.
Civilians: 68 KIA, 35 WIA.
TOTAL: 2,403 KIA, 1,178 WIA.
-------------------------------------------------
Battleships
USS Arizona (BB-39) - total loss when a bomb hit her magazine.
USS Oklahoma (BB-37) - Total loss when she capsized and sunk in the harbor.
USS California (BB-4 4) - Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS West Virginia (BB-48) - Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS Nevada - (BB-36) Beached to prevent sinking. Later repaired.
USS Pennsylvania (BB-38) - Light damage.
USS Maryland (BB-46) - Light damage.
USS Tennessee (BB-43) Light damage.
USS Utah (AG-16) - (former battleship used as a target) - Sunk.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cruisers
USS New Orleans (CA-32) - Light Damage..
USS San Francisco (CA-38) - Light Damage.
USS Detroit (CL-8) - Light Damage.
USS Raleigh (CL-7) - Heavily damaged but repaired.
USS Helena (CL-50) - Light Damage.
USS Honolulu (CL-48) - Light Damage..
-------------------------- -- ---------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------
Destroyers
USS Downes (DD-375) - Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Cassin - (DD -3 7 2) Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Shaw (DD-373) - Very heavy damage.
USS Helm (DD-388) - Light Damage.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minelayer
USS Ogala (CM-4) - Sunk but later raised and repaired.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seaplane Tender
USS Curtiss (AV-4) - Severely damaged but later repaired.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Repair Ship
USS Vestal (AR-4) - Severely damaged but later repaired.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harbor Tug
USS Sotoyomo (YT-9) - Sunk but later raised and repaired.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aircraft
188 Aircraft destroyed (92 USN and 92 U.S. Army Air Corps.)
. . . . . . . Share this with your Loved ones of ALL ages...Elderly will remember, Young will be Awed.
this was my response to this e-mail i received this week early on maybe monday..
To Peter:
Hey there, when i saw these pix the other day i thought of u, as a photographer, and the Foundation, though loosely, related.
when i was 26 or so i went to hawaii with a friend, for 5 days, i loved it so when it came the day before we were to leave, we sat on the beach and cried, how we didn't want to leave, so i went to the travel agency, and begged them to find us a room anywhere for at least 2 more days.. did some reconnaissance that weekend to find the flea market bustling, as soon as i returned stateside i went directly back to the travel agency and booked another trip for a month later, i went by myself that time, and for 2 weeks, at the time , ok, don't laugh, but i was selling blue blocker sunglasses like there wasn't tomorrow, so i loaded up a suit case of sunglasses, and another with a swim suit, sandals, a few dresses, and off I returned to heaven on earth, hawaii. between selling on sat, sun, and wed. i had plenty of time to kill at the beaches. on one rainy day, i took advantage of the weather, and went to Pearl Harbor, by myself, in those days i did a lot of things by myself, i watched the film, at the museum, and then we took a shuttle out to the Arizona. I can not describe the feeling, other than it stayed with me a life time. i could feel the moment, with a strange calm, from those remaining, buried in the sea grave, it was very powerful, and i was not the only one. A japanese man bumped into me, and as he turned to me, he looked directly into my eyes, and with the deepest meaning, apologized, for what might have been for bumping into me, but that was not at all what he meant.. I have never forgotten that moment. as though it were yesterday. When i saw the pix the memories came flooding in. They are really quiet something. Our gateway to entering the war, wwII . I have enjoyed being able to be a part of history by visiting these kinds of places all my life.. and as many historic places as i could put in my travel agenda, through the years.. i thought u might appreciate, as i know u too will. ah with a Minuit before the "Bell" i must run to get the crew up and ready for school..
hope u are all well,
andrea
---------------- ---------------- ----------------- --------------- -------------- ----------
Let me add in the events that we have all shared now as of yesterday, the earthquake, in of all places Japan, and with that 68 years, having now become but water under the bridge, i salute, us as humans for be able to move onward, forward, and with forgiveness, look here we go again, the world, sending out ships of supplies,and rescuers to japan, and i am filled with pride, not to be an american, but to be a member of humanity. That we can move forward and reach out a loving hand, and be there again for another that so needs.. I was totally engulfed in the news yesterday, as i haven't been in what seems a long time, as T.V and the news has been on hold, for me.. I found much too much going on in my life to have time for the News, politics, or religion, Just wanted to focus on being the best i can be, without that, as a distraction..but there i was tucked in way early for me, fell asleep, to be awakened by a friends phone call whilst i'd left the t.v on . within seconds of our conversation there it was Breaking news.. a huge earthquake had rocked the country of Japan.. only closer, having moved to california, and it's inevitable earthquake state, to come someday.. making it a much more scary event. And then on top of it, the tsunami, which washed away a town and everyone and thing in its path.. the best broadcast was from the BBC, when a british reporter, had the courage to say just that, People were in that swell of water, not just cars and trucks homes and debris, but people.. oh how devastating, as we now wait for the stories of survivors, the only way we can cope with the losses here on our planet, like the Star wars movie when OB 1 kanbe said, I feel a loss in the force, when alduran had been destroyed.. by darth vader, strange analysis, but one i felt, deep with in my soul.. a great many lives lost, like that of 2004, when that horrid earthquake and tsunami came and washed away 250,000 people.. Yet in a strange way, though less lives lost, a huge loss none the less.. A highly developed country, brought to a dead stop, without electricity, transportation, clean water, sanitary conditions, and the threat of the nuclear power plant, becoming an added threat..
much less the interesting facts of how a tsunami works which i filled my brain with information, and as friends called in yesterday, described what and how the whole thing works, as it rolled across 5000 miles of the pacific to actually hit the U.S., and its effects here, 9 hours later, traveling at 500 miles per hour.. to boom, hit the coastal waters of california, fortunately not as bad as japan, but never the less, quiet a mess, and don't let me not forget Hawaii.. which got a rush of water upon it's shores, though interestingly enough, not pearl harbor, come to think of it.. right? wow..
I watched, just now, on the news a video, of the ships, in formation, on their way to Japan, and got the chills, as i thought how truly amazing we are as a people, To be able to forgive and move on.. as we do in our lives, with relationships in general. How we find forgiveness, for others and ourselves. To then find, great happiness, through the tears of loss, and what that all means..never giving up, to constantly be able to move towards trust itself, again, in ourselves and in others. maybe that ability to forget, is how we manage to be better people, friends, neighbors, lovers, parents, children, Humans.. frail, yet strong all at the same time.. Truly fantastic.. And life goes on.. It will..
better for what we give, and what we accept from those that give, to receive, is, as important. and to accept both the ying and yang of it all!! balance and boundaries.. again..
I will post the photos my friend Simona sent to me, and how it played in the roll of my blog.. this fine day with the milky skies above, as i look forward to a day with the crew, and leave my reeling mind of swirling thoughts, a rest today!!
with all my love to those that keep reading, and my best to those who are on their way to Japan, and to those that have such losses, makes the little things in life that much smaller.. but not dismissed entirely..
Andrea and crew, my always, inspiration!!
Monday 7 March 2011
replies to my "no road trip" blog prior(so far)
Hey Andrea,
So sorry to hear that you won't be traveling this summer, you'll be missed here in NY. I completely understand about the gas prices. I travel 37 miles one way to get to work and Roger travels 47 miles, so our commuting costs have skyrocketed. My company had a 41% staff reduction on February 10; luckily for me, I still have my job. It's been scary and lonely, and very sad to be in a lab by myself when it used to have more. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime, please make sure you keep me in mind and my email address on your mailing list.
Regards,
Elizabeth
-------------------- ---------------------- -------------------- ------------------- -----------------
Ok, so you made me cry worrying about you and the kids. I know you will manage but having been there done that I know how scary this time is for you. I too made the decision not to travel or do shows this year...well did sign up for Fairport and probably will still apply for Park Ave only because it's only 3 hours away and I get to stay with dear friends in Rochester. However, they will be my "retirement" shows and try to sell off what ever I can. Ron and I have been doing some side construction work and enjoying that plus it's all for local folks and we get to be together. Who ever thought the price of gas would put us out of the craft business? My Dad told me for the last 3 years of his life "get out".... I never could give up what I loved,, but between gas and arthritis I'm ready. I did pray and cry over the decision but ready to let go.
I wish you nothing but peace and happiness in your life. Remember there is always a place for you to visit here in Pa. Love to the kids and to you!!
xoxo kas
So sorry to hear that you won't be traveling this summer, you'll be missed here in NY. I completely understand about the gas prices. I travel 37 miles one way to get to work and Roger travels 47 miles, so our commuting costs have skyrocketed. My company had a 41% staff reduction on February 10; luckily for me, I still have my job. It's been scary and lonely, and very sad to be in a lab by myself when it used to have more. Hopefully I'll see you again sometime, please make sure you keep me in mind and my email address on your mailing list.
Regards,
Elizabeth
-------------------- ---------------------- -------------------- ------------------- -----------------
Ok, so you made me cry worrying about you and the kids. I know you will manage but having been there done that I know how scary this time is for you. I too made the decision not to travel or do shows this year...well did sign up for Fairport and probably will still apply for Park Ave only because it's only 3 hours away and I get to stay with dear friends in Rochester. However, they will be my "retirement" shows and try to sell off what ever I can. Ron and I have been doing some side construction work and enjoying that plus it's all for local folks and we get to be together. Who ever thought the price of gas would put us out of the craft business? My Dad told me for the last 3 years of his life "get out".... I never could give up what I loved,, but between gas and arthritis I'm ready. I did pray and cry over the decision but ready to let go.
I wish you nothing but peace and happiness in your life. Remember there is always a place for you to visit here in Pa. Love to the kids and to you!!
xoxo kas
Saturday 5 March 2011
Subject: Let's start a price war in our favor an e-mail i received
Subject: Let's start a price war in our favor, This is what inspired my thoughts for this weeks blog... to follow..
Tired of higher gas prices…then boycott Exxon & Mobil to bring down gas prices…
Please read on THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO $1.30 PER GALLON. This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this summer, take time to read this please. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day” campaign that was going around last April or May! It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn’t continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea has come up with a plan that can really work.
Please read on and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $2.00 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $3.08 at Arco and Costco for regular unleaded in Salem, Oregon and climbing every week. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace..Not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war. Here’s the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers . If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That’s all! (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren’t a mathematician but I am. So trust me on this one. How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days! I’ll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $2.00 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
I have no idea if this would work, but considering, we are facing a summer of driving, and after 2008's gas prices, which destroyed much of my profits that year, i thought i would pass this to those i love that will be working at shows this summer. as it is right now, there's no way i can go on the road. it cost me $4000. in fuel last summer to travel from L.A to the east, this year that same trip would cost me $2000. more. making the trip OUT for me. I personally do not have enough weeks of work with school beginning august 15th. therefore i will remain here in L.A and figure out another way to earn money. For the first time in 18 years i will not travel for the shows. the shows have not been strong enough for me, to afford this kind of increase in fuel expense. This has to be the most frightening decision I have had to make this year. To completely change my life. And who knew that the price of fuel would have that much impact. well 2008, told the story, customers spent less while our cost increased. This is likely the scenario this coming summer.. if there is any chance that this would work, see plan below.. it might be worth it.. when do we get to take our lives and businesses back?
well my best wishes for a profitable summer for all those i will not have the chance to see over the coming summer.. xoxoxo
Andrea
UYE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry to here you will not be able to do your traveling this year I know the gas prices a crazy and I can not let it take over my life. The only thing I can do is try to save money anywhere else I can and when my mother in-law was alive she would save her bread wrappers and the twist ties and put cookies in them. And plastic containers, she would never throw them away that is poor mans Tupperware, and I think we need to get back our lives and look at what we are doing and control the things we can control.
I live on a farm and I am going to get back to canning again, not just to save money but to have better food. I enjoyed your blog and I think you next story should be about how no matter what they do to us we still can control our own lives. I remember a few years back a customer called for a part and was very upset about the gas prices and how they had to cut down on there trips and I said you know if a family of four just eats out one less meal on there travel that would make up for the gas. So traveling in a RV is like a house on wheels and how much cooler is it to cook out at the campfire, eat home cooked meals and travel at the same time. As going up we where a family of eight and every weekend we where on the road doing something and we did not have a lot of money. We cooked out side Coleman stove and I can even remember my mom heating up the water to do the dishes. As I think back now I wondered why we didn’t do these things inside the camper and as kid we never thought twice about all that stuff and it was fun.
I hope the best for you and I hope things work out for you in what ever you do.
Debi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A-
Girl - think about it.
The oil comes from all over and is siphoned to the 'brands'. If this action actually worked they would close - change the label - and reopen. As long as WE trade in their commerce WE are fucked
Gas is not going up. OUR WORTH IS GOING DOWN! I paid $1.50 for M&M's that were $1 a month ago.
Who is to blame? YOU, ME & ALL OF U.S.
WE allow the printing of money endlessly... by private banksters we are not allowed to vote into power - or even know who the owners are of the private bank (the Fed is our central bank) that prints the money you and I owe interest on - EVERY FUCKING DOLLAR IN YOUR WALLET - at this point the interest on the money the Fed has printed will never be paid back. But we keep playing... still feel good?
Face it YOU, ME & ALL OF U.S. are slaves headed toward happiness if we can make $400 a month. See what you will experience soon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC0FlE4RWno
OR
Take your REAL physical money now:
http://www.howtobuysilvernow.com
As long as we borrow at interest (every fucking dollar we use) your email will look mild in a few months/years.
Jesus/Bible/Shira Law say very specific things about usury. But who really cares? Honestly?
WHERE IS YOUR LINE IN THE SAND?
"To be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause..."
-M
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guys-
Sorry for this.
We can count.
Blood for oil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdUGYLOfG3c&feature=channel_video_title
How do you define freedom?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have just opened up the proverbial can of worms. You are right about the money.
I have been following this trend for three years now. it is true that people should be investing in gold and silver now since this is the real standard for money. Our dollar bills are just greenbacks, backed no longer by the gold and silver that once held the true currency for our money. Bought out in its entirety by Nixon in his years as President. Now we are left with dollars that hold no value backed by nothing.
A couple of solutions, is to invest in gold and silver, but it must be in a form that you can use for trade, like boullion pieces. why do you think that all the tv stations and newspapers have full page ads for people to trade in their gold and silver jewelry. Everyone in the know is trying to get their hands on whatever they can before it is too late. And it is almost too late my friends. Everyone must start putting money, change, coins away and not in the banks. There is going to come a day in the not too distant future where we will not be able to access our bank accounts to get our worthless money out. So, put money away where you can. Start stockpiling food and supplies, because when our food supply is running short, and it has already begun, all chaos will break out.
People must start to learn to fend for themselves and not look for anyone to bail them out. The bailouts are reserved for the rich and undeserving like the banks and bankers and gangsters alike.
Another option is to barter. there are several barter groups that are thriving here in Los Angeles. I have been involved with barter groups for a couple of years now. its amazing. We need to get back to the basics and learn to take care of ourselves and each other again. Everyone needs a survival plan starting now that will carry them for the next couple of years. Food, shelter, a form of money or barter and a place to live.
We look at these other countries fighting for their freedom these past couple of weeks. It's only a matter of time before its us right here in the good ol' U.S. of A, that will be in a similar situation. So, a plan needs to manifest. Learn to live with less. Stop all the unnecessary consuming. Live simply, help one another, get a survival plan in order and get into a community with like minded people. We are going to need to depend on ourselves and ourselves only. time to reach out and share information while we still can.
Kalee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LASTLY THIS IS MY PREVIEW FOR WHAT HELPED PROVOKE MY THOUGHTS THIS WEEK AND PLANS FOR UP YOUR EAR, CHECK OUT MY REAL POSTING, THIS IS JUST AN appetizer!!! click on that one.. plz
http://diaryofaroadtrip.blogspot.com/2011/03/fuel-prices-end-travel-for-at-least-up.html
Tired of higher gas prices…then boycott Exxon & Mobil to bring down gas prices…
Please read on THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO $1.30 PER GALLON. This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this summer, take time to read this please. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day” campaign that was going around last April or May! It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn’t continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea has come up with a plan that can really work.
Please read on and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $2.00 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $3.08 at Arco and Costco for regular unleaded in Salem, Oregon and climbing every week. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace..Not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war. Here’s the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers . If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That’s all! (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren’t a mathematician but I am. So trust me on this one. How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days! I’ll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference. If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $2.00 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
I have no idea if this would work, but considering, we are facing a summer of driving, and after 2008's gas prices, which destroyed much of my profits that year, i thought i would pass this to those i love that will be working at shows this summer. as it is right now, there's no way i can go on the road. it cost me $4000. in fuel last summer to travel from L.A to the east, this year that same trip would cost me $2000. more. making the trip OUT for me. I personally do not have enough weeks of work with school beginning august 15th. therefore i will remain here in L.A and figure out another way to earn money. For the first time in 18 years i will not travel for the shows. the shows have not been strong enough for me, to afford this kind of increase in fuel expense. This has to be the most frightening decision I have had to make this year. To completely change my life. And who knew that the price of fuel would have that much impact. well 2008, told the story, customers spent less while our cost increased. This is likely the scenario this coming summer.. if there is any chance that this would work, see plan below.. it might be worth it.. when do we get to take our lives and businesses back?
well my best wishes for a profitable summer for all those i will not have the chance to see over the coming summer.. xoxoxo
Andrea
UYE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry to here you will not be able to do your traveling this year I know the gas prices a crazy and I can not let it take over my life. The only thing I can do is try to save money anywhere else I can and when my mother in-law was alive she would save her bread wrappers and the twist ties and put cookies in them. And plastic containers, she would never throw them away that is poor mans Tupperware, and I think we need to get back our lives and look at what we are doing and control the things we can control.
I live on a farm and I am going to get back to canning again, not just to save money but to have better food. I enjoyed your blog and I think you next story should be about how no matter what they do to us we still can control our own lives. I remember a few years back a customer called for a part and was very upset about the gas prices and how they had to cut down on there trips and I said you know if a family of four just eats out one less meal on there travel that would make up for the gas. So traveling in a RV is like a house on wheels and how much cooler is it to cook out at the campfire, eat home cooked meals and travel at the same time. As going up we where a family of eight and every weekend we where on the road doing something and we did not have a lot of money. We cooked out side Coleman stove and I can even remember my mom heating up the water to do the dishes. As I think back now I wondered why we didn’t do these things inside the camper and as kid we never thought twice about all that stuff and it was fun.
I hope the best for you and I hope things work out for you in what ever you do.
Debi
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A-
Girl - think about it.
The oil comes from all over and is siphoned to the 'brands'. If this action actually worked they would close - change the label - and reopen. As long as WE trade in their commerce WE are fucked
Gas is not going up. OUR WORTH IS GOING DOWN! I paid $1.50 for M&M's that were $1 a month ago.
Who is to blame? YOU, ME & ALL OF U.S.
WE allow the printing of money endlessly... by private banksters we are not allowed to vote into power - or even know who the owners are of the private bank (the Fed is our central bank) that prints the money you and I owe interest on - EVERY FUCKING DOLLAR IN YOUR WALLET - at this point the interest on the money the Fed has printed will never be paid back. But we keep playing... still feel good?
Face it YOU, ME & ALL OF U.S. are slaves headed toward happiness if we can make $400 a month. See what you will experience soon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC0FlE4RWno
OR
Take your REAL physical money now:
http://www.howtobuysilvernow.com
As long as we borrow at interest (every fucking dollar we use) your email will look mild in a few months/years.
Jesus/Bible/Shira Law say very specific things about usury. But who really cares? Honestly?
WHERE IS YOUR LINE IN THE SAND?
"To be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause..."
-M
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guys-
Sorry for this.
We can count.
Blood for oil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdUGYLOfG3c&feature=channel_video_title
How do you define freedom?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have just opened up the proverbial can of worms. You are right about the money.
I have been following this trend for three years now. it is true that people should be investing in gold and silver now since this is the real standard for money. Our dollar bills are just greenbacks, backed no longer by the gold and silver that once held the true currency for our money. Bought out in its entirety by Nixon in his years as President. Now we are left with dollars that hold no value backed by nothing.
A couple of solutions, is to invest in gold and silver, but it must be in a form that you can use for trade, like boullion pieces. why do you think that all the tv stations and newspapers have full page ads for people to trade in their gold and silver jewelry. Everyone in the know is trying to get their hands on whatever they can before it is too late. And it is almost too late my friends. Everyone must start putting money, change, coins away and not in the banks. There is going to come a day in the not too distant future where we will not be able to access our bank accounts to get our worthless money out. So, put money away where you can. Start stockpiling food and supplies, because when our food supply is running short, and it has already begun, all chaos will break out.
People must start to learn to fend for themselves and not look for anyone to bail them out. The bailouts are reserved for the rich and undeserving like the banks and bankers and gangsters alike.
Another option is to barter. there are several barter groups that are thriving here in Los Angeles. I have been involved with barter groups for a couple of years now. its amazing. We need to get back to the basics and learn to take care of ourselves and each other again. Everyone needs a survival plan starting now that will carry them for the next couple of years. Food, shelter, a form of money or barter and a place to live.
We look at these other countries fighting for their freedom these past couple of weeks. It's only a matter of time before its us right here in the good ol' U.S. of A, that will be in a similar situation. So, a plan needs to manifest. Learn to live with less. Stop all the unnecessary consuming. Live simply, help one another, get a survival plan in order and get into a community with like minded people. We are going to need to depend on ourselves and ourselves only. time to reach out and share information while we still can.
Kalee
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LASTLY THIS IS MY PREVIEW FOR WHAT HELPED PROVOKE MY THOUGHTS THIS WEEK AND PLANS FOR UP YOUR EAR, CHECK OUT MY REAL POSTING, THIS IS JUST AN appetizer!!! click on that one.. plz
http://diaryofaroadtrip.blogspot.com/2011/03/fuel-prices-end-travel-for-at-least-up.html
Fuel Prices End Travel, For at Least Up Your Ear.
When i began this blog nearly a year ago now, where does the time pass i will never know, but here it is a year coming up, i was going on the road to do my art tour as i had, for 15 years, knowing nothing else but this for all these years. I presently have, for the first time, decided not to travel, as the shows were weak last year, and the potential for improvement is unlikely.
Funny enough i'm being audited by the IRS for 2008, when, of all things, gas was at it's all time high, that summer, and at one point spent $4.35 a gallon, on our way to chicago, from New England, it was a fortune to fill that 75 gallon tank. $326.25 and we had to fill it twice at least to get there and twice, back.. That show, which we did in Evanston, just outside chicago proper, wasn't good, i don't know if we even hit $4000. when u take out the Gas alone, $1200, plus the space and the cost of goods, forget it, a loss. oh and we had to eat, and food prices rise with gas prices..additionally, we (At the time) travel with children, so we are not feeding a couple but a foursome while on the road. we were never extravagant, i always cooked. we didn't rent movies, or go to one. I always love it when some one tells me that if i were to just cut out Star Bucks coffee, or at least one dinner out, we could save a fortune. well i'd have to do those things to begin with.. and i don't buy that icky coffee, or eat out. so if my life style were a calorie count, i've slimed down to a size 4, from a size 10.. and there is no where else to cut corners.
So, outside of not doing the shows, altogether, i must make another plan. This has to be the most difficult transition i have ever had to make. when one has been doing something for all these years. I have no idea how to live a different life, and as i write, i tear up, as i have so loved traveling and earning a fair living off of what i have loved, 17 years in total. I think daily of the driving, the sights to be seen, i will not this year, the friends i will not see, this summer. the Lobster i will not have to dine on, at dirt cheep prices, in the cape!! and fried clams.. oh but i remind myself, though they were luxuries, just plain grocery shopping on the cape is outrageous, and every thing is really expensive. Because of the price of fuel. and can u imagine what it will cost, this year.. holy mackerel. This then, is out.. And if it cost more for us to travel, all of us, then where is the extra $$$ to spend on earrings, jewelry, photography, painting, ceramics, glass ware, hand made and designed clothing, wooden carved bowls or sculpture, the bottom line is the extremely wealthy don't usually attend these out door fine art and craft shows. They can afford to travel to exotic places, and miss out on those shows, in towns near by, unless they are tourists, visiting, the shores of new england, and will this price of fuel cut into their travels as it did in 2008? I'd say so..much less their budget. It is simply logic.
These thoughts have been going through my head already months, so when i finally turned on the T.V to try and take in the news, this made my decision seem quiet right on.. If theres money to be made, i'd better stay right where i am and not spend it on Gas. even if the profits are less, they won't be eaten up by the cost of traveling.. boo hooo..
This discussion came up not because of my thoughts on this, but an e-mail i received early this week on the subject, i'd not actually discussed with my friend Roseanne, and i will post the e-mail and some of the responses, as i get approval, from those that did respond to a theory on how to make Gas prices be reduced. and their thoughts on the subject all together.
In this reduction of things, where is the bottom? ok no movies, no eating out, maybe we should forgo hair and nails, clothing, shoes, skip cable, which i already do, and internet, and get rid of our cell phones. maybe we should all move to a fucking farm, and herd sheep, like thats affordable, still have to feed the animals, which is already getting pricy I'd imagine, as transporting the grain, has to costing more to do so, but how much mutton must we eat before we say no more? Evidently we are still the second richest in the world, America that is, and yet we seem to be on a down turn financially of un-proportioned levels, out side of the great depression, which i find it hard to believe we are not actually in a worse situation, or certainly equal. I have but a few friends left in the art world that can still make it, but cost of goods for them have to be very low, in actual materials, so as to pay for the increases in other costs, if one works in a medium where materials cost less and your time is at a peak, then one can actually make money, but for those in that, they too will find the cost of goods increase, shipping of those goods is not free, and the expenses are going up each and every day.. as fuel rises. take a deep breath, i say to myself.. with this comes change for us all, be it now or in the near future, start planning.. as i have.. to make the changes necessary to feed my crew. and continue the best i can, to see them get to school on time, and get the most out of the public school system. another subject i will discuss sometime. for the moment they are in great schools, with dedicated instructors, who seem to endlessly strive to do better with limited resources.
with a brief interruption, i drove madeline to her first rehearsal, for a play at school, and will be for some time to come, opps there goes that gas bill for my most conservative car, "little red riding root", a 2003, toyota echo. which gets darn near, if not 40 MPG. but what cost me last year $30. a month to take them to school has cost me twice that this year, as they are each in different schools, this year, and now an extra trip to school saturdays for rehearsal..
But what i wanted to mention, was how spectacular the day is, finally warm, the sun shinning brightly, i must look for something free to do today, and take advantage of this glorious day.. sounds like walking might be on the agenda!!! hahaha
Normally i am very positive and cheery, which i do feel i am, even today, but sometimes when one speaks through logic and fact it appears to be less than up lifting, i would rather take another look at this to say, with this door, again another to close so shall others open, and as i brace for myself the changes I skip, not a beat, as i am sure the best is yet to come, my arms and mind are open.
be well, find solutions, and if anyone has any, i'm open to listen, or just add a comment, their are so many readers, that are so bright and full of opinions i'd just love to hear them.. and if u write to me via my e-mail, plz let me know if i may post your thoughts.. as we are all together, in this!!
Andrea and Crew
Funny enough i'm being audited by the IRS for 2008, when, of all things, gas was at it's all time high, that summer, and at one point spent $4.35 a gallon, on our way to chicago, from New England, it was a fortune to fill that 75 gallon tank. $326.25 and we had to fill it twice at least to get there and twice, back.. That show, which we did in Evanston, just outside chicago proper, wasn't good, i don't know if we even hit $4000. when u take out the Gas alone, $1200, plus the space and the cost of goods, forget it, a loss. oh and we had to eat, and food prices rise with gas prices..additionally, we (At the time) travel with children, so we are not feeding a couple but a foursome while on the road. we were never extravagant, i always cooked. we didn't rent movies, or go to one. I always love it when some one tells me that if i were to just cut out Star Bucks coffee, or at least one dinner out, we could save a fortune. well i'd have to do those things to begin with.. and i don't buy that icky coffee, or eat out. so if my life style were a calorie count, i've slimed down to a size 4, from a size 10.. and there is no where else to cut corners.
So, outside of not doing the shows, altogether, i must make another plan. This has to be the most difficult transition i have ever had to make. when one has been doing something for all these years. I have no idea how to live a different life, and as i write, i tear up, as i have so loved traveling and earning a fair living off of what i have loved, 17 years in total. I think daily of the driving, the sights to be seen, i will not this year, the friends i will not see, this summer. the Lobster i will not have to dine on, at dirt cheep prices, in the cape!! and fried clams.. oh but i remind myself, though they were luxuries, just plain grocery shopping on the cape is outrageous, and every thing is really expensive. Because of the price of fuel. and can u imagine what it will cost, this year.. holy mackerel. This then, is out.. And if it cost more for us to travel, all of us, then where is the extra $$$ to spend on earrings, jewelry, photography, painting, ceramics, glass ware, hand made and designed clothing, wooden carved bowls or sculpture, the bottom line is the extremely wealthy don't usually attend these out door fine art and craft shows. They can afford to travel to exotic places, and miss out on those shows, in towns near by, unless they are tourists, visiting, the shores of new england, and will this price of fuel cut into their travels as it did in 2008? I'd say so..much less their budget. It is simply logic.
These thoughts have been going through my head already months, so when i finally turned on the T.V to try and take in the news, this made my decision seem quiet right on.. If theres money to be made, i'd better stay right where i am and not spend it on Gas. even if the profits are less, they won't be eaten up by the cost of traveling.. boo hooo..
This discussion came up not because of my thoughts on this, but an e-mail i received early this week on the subject, i'd not actually discussed with my friend Roseanne, and i will post the e-mail and some of the responses, as i get approval, from those that did respond to a theory on how to make Gas prices be reduced. and their thoughts on the subject all together.
In this reduction of things, where is the bottom? ok no movies, no eating out, maybe we should forgo hair and nails, clothing, shoes, skip cable, which i already do, and internet, and get rid of our cell phones. maybe we should all move to a fucking farm, and herd sheep, like thats affordable, still have to feed the animals, which is already getting pricy I'd imagine, as transporting the grain, has to costing more to do so, but how much mutton must we eat before we say no more? Evidently we are still the second richest in the world, America that is, and yet we seem to be on a down turn financially of un-proportioned levels, out side of the great depression, which i find it hard to believe we are not actually in a worse situation, or certainly equal. I have but a few friends left in the art world that can still make it, but cost of goods for them have to be very low, in actual materials, so as to pay for the increases in other costs, if one works in a medium where materials cost less and your time is at a peak, then one can actually make money, but for those in that, they too will find the cost of goods increase, shipping of those goods is not free, and the expenses are going up each and every day.. as fuel rises. take a deep breath, i say to myself.. with this comes change for us all, be it now or in the near future, start planning.. as i have.. to make the changes necessary to feed my crew. and continue the best i can, to see them get to school on time, and get the most out of the public school system. another subject i will discuss sometime. for the moment they are in great schools, with dedicated instructors, who seem to endlessly strive to do better with limited resources.
with a brief interruption, i drove madeline to her first rehearsal, for a play at school, and will be for some time to come, opps there goes that gas bill for my most conservative car, "little red riding root", a 2003, toyota echo. which gets darn near, if not 40 MPG. but what cost me last year $30. a month to take them to school has cost me twice that this year, as they are each in different schools, this year, and now an extra trip to school saturdays for rehearsal..
But what i wanted to mention, was how spectacular the day is, finally warm, the sun shinning brightly, i must look for something free to do today, and take advantage of this glorious day.. sounds like walking might be on the agenda!!! hahaha
Normally i am very positive and cheery, which i do feel i am, even today, but sometimes when one speaks through logic and fact it appears to be less than up lifting, i would rather take another look at this to say, with this door, again another to close so shall others open, and as i brace for myself the changes I skip, not a beat, as i am sure the best is yet to come, my arms and mind are open.
be well, find solutions, and if anyone has any, i'm open to listen, or just add a comment, their are so many readers, that are so bright and full of opinions i'd just love to hear them.. and if u write to me via my e-mail, plz let me know if i may post your thoughts.. as we are all together, in this!!
Andrea and Crew
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