Well todays a big day, Maddie has to go to rehearsal, and I have yet a few more items to finish for my big trips to florida. I have been very productive, having made numerous necklaces and bracelets, out of the 1000's of dollars of pearls and stones, even left over crystal. my camera is broken or I'd take photos, maybe I will borrow Maddie's camera, for now. If thats not enough we have to clean up around here as all I've been doing is making jewelry, and unlike my typical weeks where I write nearly everyday, I have barely written anything. I have found I can manage one artistic endeavor at a time, my mind is either building necklaces or writing a story, but not both, completely..
What I have discovered over the last 2 weeks is that, I can still make and design some dam pretty things. It has been very rewarding, nothing will be more rewarding than to find the owners to these nice pieces, and getting the money. not only does that add to the feeling the designs are good, if not great, it sure helps out the bottom line.. and there's an area which needs vast improvement, and now!!
I have found it has been very therapeutic, the place the mind goes when I'm making the necklaces, like when driving, paying attention to what I'm doing and in that moment, lots of time to think, work things out in my mind, spend time weighing one idea, or thought over another.
I was recalling the very first long distant drive, I ever took, by myself, My first car was a Volks Wagon 1957 bug, with the oval rear window. I bought it with my own money, paid cash, all $500. at the time, from a car dealer, if you'd call it that, Rent a wreck. I was 17 years old, my dad had spent the summer teaching me to drive, by making me read every single sign along the highway home. and I mean every single sign.. he taught me how to pay attention to the rear view mirror, relentlessly checking it, to see what was going on behind me, and when to start a turn. Gleb had raced Ferrari's and was taught to really drive from Sterling Moss, an English race car driver if I recall correctly.. so I can say, I too learned, indirectly, to drive, by Sterling!!
My first job, and one of the few I ever had, with a time card, was at the New York Bakery, a job I didn't want, but my dad insisted everyone in Durango has a job at my age of 16 so I would work also, and reluctantly took the job.. I started as a dishwasher!! and later they promoted me to the counter, where a shy, girl who didn't speak to anyone, myself, didn't want to go but by the time this came up I didn't want to leave the job, I'd found a respite, of sorts, and a place I fit in for the first time. I made friends with my co workers, I was still in high school, and continued working there from the summer before my 12 grade year, till after I graduated.
Getting slowly to my story, of my first long distant drive, one of my co-workers who had left and moved to Denver from Durango, co. invited me to her up coming wedding, in Denver.. I accepted and without a thought, got myself together and drove to Denver, in the bug.. 300 miles. I'd never driven by myself that far.. I can recall the drive like it was yesterday, the winding mountain road, the valleys, as I left so early in the morning, the shadowed road around the bending highway, cliffs soaring to the sky in one direction and down the cliff to the winding river..far below, and they call this the rocky mountains for a reason.
The stunning blaring sun as I drove, the radio reception in and out as I would take one turn and then the next, the feel of the road, so defined, under the thin frame of the old vw. It was so cold I had a blanket on my lap, and could see my breath in the air.. yep u guessed it, no heat!! it was spring if, I recall, so the new leaves glistened on the aspens, the mountains covered in snow, everything sparkled, like the jewelry I so love to make!! the vibrant lime green leaves, the white of the snow against the cloudless, deep clean blue skies, being tickled by the tips of the mountain peaks. nothing could be more stunning.. This is where the term breath taking must have begun, it certainly did for me, as I daydreamed out the window, watching the road disappear, beyond the hood of my beige bug as I came around a corner, and into the shade of the mountain, I hit black ice, and my feather weight vehicle went flying, into donuts, round and round till it came to a dead halt, into the guard rail, my heart pounding as it had never before. I could hardly move, I wasn't hurt, just so shocked by this event.. and like a miracle, came a man, to help, I hadn't seen a car on the road, most of the drive, we pushed the vw, off the guard rail, the only thing between me and the plunging cliff, the sound of the rapid, moving river, below. as though silenced, in my surprise, I can remember my whole body trembling, not from the cold brisk air, but my near death! I even think I was deafened in the moment, not a sound, even as I looked down that cliff at the river so far below. As we pushed the car off the rail, I could begin to hear the sound of my boots, slipping on the invisible ice, that had brought me to this barrier, and then the sound of rustling leaves on the trees, the babble of the river and then the start of the car as I turned the key to restart it. and as though nothing had happened, at least 150 miles into the journey, no point in turning back, but forward, to Denver.. and I thought not a moment more about the accident, and haven't till now, as I recall that first trip. seemingly a million years ago, like it wasn't even my life. but it was, and who would have ever guessed in a million years I would do the amount of driving, I have since.
I can recall the sight of this valley as I drove later, a wild flower field, of what were likely buttercups, that stretched as far as the base of the sky scraping, rocky mountains, I don't think there was one part of the drive that wasn't beautiful. in the silence of the empty road, just the sound of the wind as it came in my cracked window, my mind filled with thoughts, probably no different than now, wondering what would become of my life, and at the same time, not thinking at all, but just living in the moment. not concerning myself with what dumb thing someone had said to me, or dragging myself to some pit because life wasn't easy, but engulfed by the sensation of beauty all around me..
Funny enough I can not recall the trip back, just the adventure of getting there.. maybe this is life itself, the where with all to move forward, not spend too much time dwelling on the trip back but the trip we are going on, forward at 60 mph, the wind in our hair, the sweet sounds, of rivers and leaves, the shinning sun, warm, in the cold air, against bare cheeks, a balance. with the joy of anticipation, for what lies around the next corner. at any moment, even the scariest of accidents, can lead to good.. and certainly by some grace of god, will come someone to help!! when in need. and that no matter where we go, we are always with ourselves, our best friend, but not our only best friend, just our first.. That feeling of freedom, as we travel to the unknown destiny, but a mere map, with lines representing a series of roads, any one of which we can choose, to head north, east, south, or west, directed by the unconscious, till we become conscious! And find our own direction. Turn right at the "Y" in the road, but Left is good too, in the end, it is where we were meant to go.
Don't ya just wanna drive, I do.. keep heading towards the unknown, with cheer!! hooray, for another day!!
may yours be filled with great adventures in the week to come!
find the scent of the flowers, a new bloom in the mists of spring, the warm sun, on your arm out the window.
As I relish in the joy of the sound of "Good morning Mommy" from my children.
Andrea and Crew
