its so much over so many short days. i'd like to share the view out my window, listening to music, tide in.

still in the parking lot, incredibly quiet at last, i can try and put down few words.. so many thoughts .. who needs driving.. frankly i do.. just for that time to myself. as madeline cried, she just wants to be alone!! my teenager to be, that, as i did at 12, wanted to be in one place, make friends, learn to read, write and make friends... nothing i wanted more... of course she's an unbelievable student, doing extremely well.. but the scenario is the same, that need to connect.. to our own.. find out , in her case, who is her kind.. she's a Root incarnate

When i was 8 or so, just after my mom was divorced, and had surgery, cancer of the cervix, or something, she went to the west indies, to recover, spent time with stan,( more on him later, i'm sure. ) after she returned she said to 2 little girls, how would u like to move to the west indies for 6 months, after describing how the stars were so close, u could reach up and touch them.. ok mommy.. lets go.. and son of a bitch if she didn't sell everything and move us to the west indies.. where we lived, for 6 months in the friendship bay hotel, had a christmas there.. i remember every detail, could so take u there.. but wont .. the coral stone like path, from the cottages we stayed in , after quite a short spell in the main hotel.. up some stairs to the left that took u into the dining room, a big parrot in a cage, surely saying "Hello"

the cottage must have been small quarters, i just can't clearly remember.. i remember, making taffy, in the grand hotel kitchen, with brenda.. picking cherries from a tree, out back that same kitchen..

ultimately miss Root, not then, really Root, decided to stay on, and rented a house at the gap.. Bequia, and her new life began.. as Root.. so many could not understand.. i certainly just went with the flow, until we did leave. another long story, worth telling at some time, only to say, that we came back to the states, when i was 10, turning 11, and when summer vacation with dad came up we went to california, where mr Gleb, had recently relocated from new york.. it was the perfect place, a house, with room.. space for ones self.. i jumped on the opportunity to live there, and eugenia, and i stayed to my moms dismay.. more on that sometime.. most significant.. madeline is at that point.. so this will have to change, fortunately she doesn't need to learn to read or write in 6th grade, which no excuses, addresses my spelling issues!

maybe less trips on the road, some way to make Up You Ear a success in a completely different way..

and my other art plans.. i simply can not, not do art.. so god.. i need and want this.. some way to do more than pay the rent.. by creating art!..i wanna make my ..opps cant say.. wouldn't want to give it away.. but i'm doing it..

all dreams can come true.. i don't want to grow into the person that doesn't believe, not in just fairies, but all our dreams.. anything is possible..true love, great work, the joy of sleeping in! boy we'll need that around here... communication.. boundaries, and then none at all.. or pushing the limit, just a bit right? how can we ever know what can be if we set our selves up for what others think.. who gives a darn, maybe we would be respected .. maybe after we're dead..

well with that let me think, hope i'm funny tomorrow..

had some fun moments at the booth today, but nothing can top yesterday.. even with biz not so good, i had some good banter, with a friend, i do hope, by phone..

and another day has past.. a slight breeze coming in the window, my last look at this harbor.. scituate.. ma. love these americans.

who drive over to the parking lot, i'm camped in, to just watch the boats come in, and the sun set.. my people..

I need, more adult companionship! but i'm good for now.. thank god.. and the many friends that help guide me..

and the crew, which is why i get up everyday, not that i wouldn't, but what great motivation

i love u crew, and i know this is hard.. i'm sorry..

with all my love,

miss Andrea and Crew, god bless them..

and everyone else we know..