i wanted to share with you a little something, a tid bit of what happens, when u travel, be it from ur house to the grocery store or across the nation, be it by foot, by car, by motor home, plain or train, something happens, when ur ears are like antenias ready to recieve.
I found that to be true when we were on our flight back from florida, i hadn't any expectations, as it turned out, as always a most enlightening trip, one of the most profound.. ah i light the forbidden, tobacco, as i write, so now i swear, and i smoke, lets just judge me.. i think i'll just enjoy it, fuck it!! what the hell.. oh too funny.. what ever..
so back to the trip, lets start with, at the gate, after an unexpected delay with my carry on, to the flight,checking to see if i was carrying explosives, seriously, i got to the gate a little close to close, and they wouldnt let me bring my reserved bag aboard, i was "either the bag and i board together or i'm not boarding. while the crew stands guard, my carry on.. i was then informed i was forgoing our seats, and could take another flight, the following day.. i said in no uncertain terms, i will not be spending another dime, on the side lines a woman standing not far from madeline says, she can sue the airlines if she paid for the bag.. next thing u know there is the supervisor, and there's a space for my bag, we board, my confused crew and i sit and take off that fast..
and off to atlanta.. where the lay over is so long one might smoke a half a pack in boredom, as well as the fear of a five hour flight without a smoke.. what a dilemma. an insidious addiction, that those not in the club, past or present, could not understand..
So Journes, the only place to smoke, grab a bite, and a beer, concord D .. for those that need to know.. we the crew and i go, a snack, and time to kill.. a view of the airplanes, and a table to sit at.. and people to meet. and so walked in Sam, east indian, i looked up and to myself i said wow, who is he, and before i knew it we were in conversation. where are u coming from, and where are u going, and why, what do u do? Sam, as we chatted, we invited him to sit.. traveling with a soft ware co. on his way from chicago to new jersey.. before u know it i was in deep conversation with Sam, as he introduced himself to the crew, and to Andres, Sam I am.. 40,married, and a not a parent. Sam i am.. hum..
My conversation with a perfect stranger, became the culmination of my entire trip..everything that i had focused on, with 100% attention i brought up, from business, financial, to incorporate, and what was my best option, to my personal life, there wasn't a thing he said not to go for, that we are not promised tomorrow, that we should do today, and not put off till tomorrow.. thats a big message to one who preaches that..
he explained some things to me, about the spiritual, that we acquire good deeds, conversations, with "god", what ever it is u believe, and as u communicate frequently with the universe, u stock up good, and evidently i have stocked up a lot of good, and i wont be over drawn in that account!! but i will be mindful, and frugal in this i spend. there is nothing more valuable than your reputation, once lost you lose everything, paraphrased Ben Franklin..
so with that said, i carry on.. with the best of intentions, do right when all possible, and mean well.. and to strive in that direction always..
AND THANKS SAM, SAM I AM.. FOR BEING THE messenger..
Andrea and crew
Monday, 24 January 2011
Saturday, 22 January 2011
I want to catch up with what happened over the last days of my stay in florida, and trying to back track nearly twenty days seems like a lot. frankly so much happens in one day, it would be nearly impossible, so i'm gonna try to condense..as ignore the third call from a collection agency.. this morn since 5:11 am who needs an alarm..
I came to the conclusion yesterday that when we are all flush and a good credit risk, we are considered good people, by those same creditors, when life takes a turn, and money isn't flowing we become, horrible people and all your good efforts completely forgotten. why is it they don't look back at your entire history and see that over a much longer time, I was a good customer paying always on time and the minute shit happens and your late or worse can not pay right now, you become scum. I certainly know that that is not it.. but you tell that to the banks. rather than have my blood boil, my stomach reel, i choose to ignore, it's the only way for now.. any discussion i have with them falls on deaf ears, and when i get things all straightened out and money starts flowing i will joyfully repay them all, after i pay myself..
Weekend before last I didn't work, was on standby for a show, which might have been very good but as I had many other things to attend to, like put papers together for the IRS, I didn't even attempt to work, work. I instead met with people that might be able to represent me in this matter, only to find that everyone sees u coming and wants huge sums of money to do so.. well that's not gonna happen, but what I got out of it is this, when u get a free consultation, and ur broke as shit, take fucking notes and use ur own brain!! through out this trip I was given lots of good information, and as I put these pieces together, i will be able to take these pieces of info and use them for myself, i am sadly consumed with all this which has prevented me from creating actual cash flow, due to the amount of time i've spent trying to put 2008, and next 2009 papers together for the IRS, this has prevented me from actually making money, now, or what it takes to book shows or other opportunities for the near future.
I'll pick that up in a moment.. the following week while sleeping at a hotel in lauderdale by the sea, I had a great room, with a balcony, and in the evenings would sit out in the cool night air to hear the sea, brush against the sand, the first night, the erie glow of the lights, shown upon a tree, a frangipani tree, without the lovely blooms of spring, where two doves cuddled, blending into the tree branches so well at first I didn't think they were real, until one blinked at me!! and every morning for 5 days I would get up to the sound of the changing sea, no 2 days the same, like life!! one day the sea crashing, the next a smooth waves rubbing the sand surface.. I really couldn't afford this but couldn't be trapped in the house, where my ex-husband lives now, once ours. I prepared for the last show of this trip, Art Deco, the hoped that this would be the money maker of the trip and why I stayed on an extra week. I would have never done so had the potential, and past exhibits there not been so great. I was so looking forward to this last show, for so many reasons, more friends to visit with, share the last of the trip with, cultivate newer relationships, which have come to be more prominent.
Art Deco, like so many other shows has slipped into oblivion, this sucks, I had the time of my life, my friends the royal family turned out to have a space right next to mine, I was not expecting that, but god does work in mysterious ways, and i'm not going to question why it was so, but that in being so, meant to be.. If I laughed once, I must of laughed a million times as we shared our thoughts and observations, Marcy had me in stitches, when she came over and announced that the fashion police needed to be called in immediately, and that fines starting at $40, needed to be issued!! had it been that we were all busier I assure u we would have not noticed all this, but as we were not, had plenty of time to laugh at the sights of out outrageously dressed men and woman.
I should tell u, friday night when I wrapped up the booth, had booked a hotel 4 miles away, who knew this would be like so incredibly far, and as i drove there, kept saying to myself, self, this is not what I had in mind, by the time I got to this motel, it was in north beach, far from everything, in the dark, as I walked in, to check in, this huge Argentinian young man, said well this might be better than u think, you have the pent house room, on the forth floor over looking the ocean, oh wow, just great, went back out to get my luggage and my bag, and the computer, ugg all heavy, wouldn't it be nice to have a man about now!!
So I get to the elevator and discover a sign on the door that says!!!! ..... temporarily OUT OF ORDER, well being as i'm am only there temporarily, that was no good and up I drag all this heavy stuff up the four flights of stairs, by the time I got up and went into the room I was sure this is not where I was to be.. got on line called Hotels.com, and heard my voice say, in nearly tears, " PLEASE DONT MAKE ME STAY HERE!!!" oh god, before u know it they rebooked me a room in the Starlite hotel, right on south beach, a half a block from my booth, and back I drove to the deco drive!! I found the, the parking space, and brought my things up stairs to a divine room, and went down stairs, befriended the bartender and bought myself a ridiculously expensive rum and coke, had to admit though it was the best i'd ever had..when I went to my room I couldn't turn my brain off, for all the things, swirling through, personal, business... and how I should proceed with all these things.. it was 3am before I forced my brain into sleep. and up i was, the next day to the lovely blue skies of miami, and south beach, still a happening place. with people from all the nation gathering there for various reasons.
Mine was to sell Up Your Ear Earrings, and that fell short of my hopes, and as it turned out the sleazy competition, I had battled the years, and the month there, turned out to be there, and I didn't find out till sunday night. having seen at least 50 pairs of their earrings, on others that was not good.. and my expensive space would become unpaid for..my beloved partner, would know this, and because of him, open to these others, for his connection to them, relatives, would be shorted income also, and as though this were all on me, was disappointed when I called him on it. and after a weekend of bragging on him, left me heart broken. again. My only alternative, like in the past is to move in a new direction, selling in this fashion is over folks, and now is the time to try new things, don't change what u r doing, just how u r doing it. we are not in the position to change our product line, but how we sell, or where. so that is what i am doing, and as one door closes so do the opportunities to bigger and better avenues, arise. and I am sure my ideas are the best yet. I know now where I am going and what I am doing, to some degree. still looking for financial backing so if their are any readers out their willing to take a risk, as I do daily let me know!!
Like business, love and life, everything is a risk, one never knows, what the out come will be, but one steps into things, and we never know what will happen, we can think, with some assurance that we know, but we don't. But the gamble has a lot better odds than vegas. so lets roll the dice on ourselves.. and leave the universe to guide us.. one day at a time.
Andrea
my crew, at last together again.. in L.A.
I came to the conclusion yesterday that when we are all flush and a good credit risk, we are considered good people, by those same creditors, when life takes a turn, and money isn't flowing we become, horrible people and all your good efforts completely forgotten. why is it they don't look back at your entire history and see that over a much longer time, I was a good customer paying always on time and the minute shit happens and your late or worse can not pay right now, you become scum. I certainly know that that is not it.. but you tell that to the banks. rather than have my blood boil, my stomach reel, i choose to ignore, it's the only way for now.. any discussion i have with them falls on deaf ears, and when i get things all straightened out and money starts flowing i will joyfully repay them all, after i pay myself..
Weekend before last I didn't work, was on standby for a show, which might have been very good but as I had many other things to attend to, like put papers together for the IRS, I didn't even attempt to work, work. I instead met with people that might be able to represent me in this matter, only to find that everyone sees u coming and wants huge sums of money to do so.. well that's not gonna happen, but what I got out of it is this, when u get a free consultation, and ur broke as shit, take fucking notes and use ur own brain!! through out this trip I was given lots of good information, and as I put these pieces together, i will be able to take these pieces of info and use them for myself, i am sadly consumed with all this which has prevented me from creating actual cash flow, due to the amount of time i've spent trying to put 2008, and next 2009 papers together for the IRS, this has prevented me from actually making money, now, or what it takes to book shows or other opportunities for the near future.
I'll pick that up in a moment.. the following week while sleeping at a hotel in lauderdale by the sea, I had a great room, with a balcony, and in the evenings would sit out in the cool night air to hear the sea, brush against the sand, the first night, the erie glow of the lights, shown upon a tree, a frangipani tree, without the lovely blooms of spring, where two doves cuddled, blending into the tree branches so well at first I didn't think they were real, until one blinked at me!! and every morning for 5 days I would get up to the sound of the changing sea, no 2 days the same, like life!! one day the sea crashing, the next a smooth waves rubbing the sand surface.. I really couldn't afford this but couldn't be trapped in the house, where my ex-husband lives now, once ours. I prepared for the last show of this trip, Art Deco, the hoped that this would be the money maker of the trip and why I stayed on an extra week. I would have never done so had the potential, and past exhibits there not been so great. I was so looking forward to this last show, for so many reasons, more friends to visit with, share the last of the trip with, cultivate newer relationships, which have come to be more prominent.
Art Deco, like so many other shows has slipped into oblivion, this sucks, I had the time of my life, my friends the royal family turned out to have a space right next to mine, I was not expecting that, but god does work in mysterious ways, and i'm not going to question why it was so, but that in being so, meant to be.. If I laughed once, I must of laughed a million times as we shared our thoughts and observations, Marcy had me in stitches, when she came over and announced that the fashion police needed to be called in immediately, and that fines starting at $40, needed to be issued!! had it been that we were all busier I assure u we would have not noticed all this, but as we were not, had plenty of time to laugh at the sights of out outrageously dressed men and woman.
I should tell u, friday night when I wrapped up the booth, had booked a hotel 4 miles away, who knew this would be like so incredibly far, and as i drove there, kept saying to myself, self, this is not what I had in mind, by the time I got to this motel, it was in north beach, far from everything, in the dark, as I walked in, to check in, this huge Argentinian young man, said well this might be better than u think, you have the pent house room, on the forth floor over looking the ocean, oh wow, just great, went back out to get my luggage and my bag, and the computer, ugg all heavy, wouldn't it be nice to have a man about now!!
So I get to the elevator and discover a sign on the door that says!!!! ..... temporarily OUT OF ORDER, well being as i'm am only there temporarily, that was no good and up I drag all this heavy stuff up the four flights of stairs, by the time I got up and went into the room I was sure this is not where I was to be.. got on line called Hotels.com, and heard my voice say, in nearly tears, " PLEASE DONT MAKE ME STAY HERE!!!" oh god, before u know it they rebooked me a room in the Starlite hotel, right on south beach, a half a block from my booth, and back I drove to the deco drive!! I found the, the parking space, and brought my things up stairs to a divine room, and went down stairs, befriended the bartender and bought myself a ridiculously expensive rum and coke, had to admit though it was the best i'd ever had..when I went to my room I couldn't turn my brain off, for all the things, swirling through, personal, business... and how I should proceed with all these things.. it was 3am before I forced my brain into sleep. and up i was, the next day to the lovely blue skies of miami, and south beach, still a happening place. with people from all the nation gathering there for various reasons.
Mine was to sell Up Your Ear Earrings, and that fell short of my hopes, and as it turned out the sleazy competition, I had battled the years, and the month there, turned out to be there, and I didn't find out till sunday night. having seen at least 50 pairs of their earrings, on others that was not good.. and my expensive space would become unpaid for..my beloved partner, would know this, and because of him, open to these others, for his connection to them, relatives, would be shorted income also, and as though this were all on me, was disappointed when I called him on it. and after a weekend of bragging on him, left me heart broken. again. My only alternative, like in the past is to move in a new direction, selling in this fashion is over folks, and now is the time to try new things, don't change what u r doing, just how u r doing it. we are not in the position to change our product line, but how we sell, or where. so that is what i am doing, and as one door closes so do the opportunities to bigger and better avenues, arise. and I am sure my ideas are the best yet. I know now where I am going and what I am doing, to some degree. still looking for financial backing so if their are any readers out their willing to take a risk, as I do daily let me know!!
Like business, love and life, everything is a risk, one never knows, what the out come will be, but one steps into things, and we never know what will happen, we can think, with some assurance that we know, but we don't. But the gamble has a lot better odds than vegas. so lets roll the dice on ourselves.. and leave the universe to guide us.. one day at a time.
Andrea
my crew, at last together again.. in L.A.
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
just a brief , hahaha up date, survived my birthday, i woke up early to write, and recieve um-teen phone calls of happy birthday wishes, which then turned writing into a 4 hour effort, one hour just to correct spelling!! the children gave me some gifts, my friend nancy, gave me a blankie, in bright pink, along with some nice undergarments, oooo la la, and a fab coffee cup with little red roses on it, old fashioned, if someone wants to bring me coffee in bed, and some spiced rum!!!
ah wishful thinking.. hum i wonder has anyone ever done that.. i don't think so.. just think of what i have to look forward and a like enough money to afford a personal assistant and a nanny! whilst some friends, all wish i'd return to the life i once had.. and why would i do that prey tell? how is it people can come up to you, tell u that you've never looked better, or seem happier and in the same breath suggest, one return to a less pleasant time.. i just don't get it.. to each his/her own i suppose.
I am evidently hard to understand, my thought way to complicated, my feeling too deep, and just as easily shut down, if nesscessary, for my self preservation. I go back to what i mentioned to Ka Lee yesterday, when she called me, when you take a flight the flight attendent tells you in case of emergency, please place the face mask on yourself first, then help the one sitting next to you, in that i believe.
my day was basically uneventful, as far as birthdays go, as far as another great day, well... i was prepared i've had enough birthdays to know, this is one day that is, and always has been icky. anyone with a birthday within a few weeks of christmas must know that, no one wants to do anything, and often through the years i felt the same way.
Madeline and i took a quick trip to the festival market in pompano, I enjoyed a drink with my friend nancy later, and then went to sheri's had another couple of beers, and fell asleep on her couch, where i reside again to night.
Had a really interesting conversation with one of sheri's friends who's birthday is today, all her complaints, or maybe rather i should say, reflections of her birthday the same.. no one ever made any effort to do anything.. she asked me if anyone even got me a cake, i said no.. i got one for madeline's b day yesterday, she pointed out that that wasn't the same. and i thought she had a point. though hadn't really thought about what is expected anyway.. now you are not going to believe this, and what made my birthday the best, as i was chatting with Dawn, i was out on the patio, and Sheri's neighbor, over heard it was my birthday, as that was the topic, now i don't know this person, never met him, and when i got off the phone with Dawn, there was a knock on the door, and in walked in Steve, with a cake, for me, a perfect stranger, he over heard it, went to publix and arrived with a cake.. i just couldn't believe it, can you imgine a person thats never met you would bring you a cake.. well this is what i most wanted to share.. one never knows where the niceties in life are coming.. So thanks steve, that was outstanding and if i never were to remember this birthday, now i will never forget.. one birthday, this one.. as i can hardly recall any of the others, nore do i care..
Any way, whatever your age, people put you in catigories, which are really off, actual dates do not make one older or younger, much of how we are has to do with how one approaches life, with vigor, or lack their of, i've meet people in their 30's that are old indeed, and and people like my mother that never aged, matured, but never lost, her youthful out look, much less her good looks, when she passed, last year, her bone density was the bone denity of a 50 year old woman.. so she was fit also.. that's just gentics.. or luck.. now i'm placed into some group that i definately don't fit into..i choose not to adjust to readily..
andrea and crew
this was published quiet after i wrote it.. i'll explain in my next post!
ah wishful thinking.. hum i wonder has anyone ever done that.. i don't think so.. just think of what i have to look forward and a like enough money to afford a personal assistant and a nanny! whilst some friends, all wish i'd return to the life i once had.. and why would i do that prey tell? how is it people can come up to you, tell u that you've never looked better, or seem happier and in the same breath suggest, one return to a less pleasant time.. i just don't get it.. to each his/her own i suppose.
I am evidently hard to understand, my thought way to complicated, my feeling too deep, and just as easily shut down, if nesscessary, for my self preservation. I go back to what i mentioned to Ka Lee yesterday, when she called me, when you take a flight the flight attendent tells you in case of emergency, please place the face mask on yourself first, then help the one sitting next to you, in that i believe.
my day was basically uneventful, as far as birthdays go, as far as another great day, well... i was prepared i've had enough birthdays to know, this is one day that is, and always has been icky. anyone with a birthday within a few weeks of christmas must know that, no one wants to do anything, and often through the years i felt the same way.
Madeline and i took a quick trip to the festival market in pompano, I enjoyed a drink with my friend nancy later, and then went to sheri's had another couple of beers, and fell asleep on her couch, where i reside again to night.
Had a really interesting conversation with one of sheri's friends who's birthday is today, all her complaints, or maybe rather i should say, reflections of her birthday the same.. no one ever made any effort to do anything.. she asked me if anyone even got me a cake, i said no.. i got one for madeline's b day yesterday, she pointed out that that wasn't the same. and i thought she had a point. though hadn't really thought about what is expected anyway.. now you are not going to believe this, and what made my birthday the best, as i was chatting with Dawn, i was out on the patio, and Sheri's neighbor, over heard it was my birthday, as that was the topic, now i don't know this person, never met him, and when i got off the phone with Dawn, there was a knock on the door, and in walked in Steve, with a cake, for me, a perfect stranger, he over heard it, went to publix and arrived with a cake.. i just couldn't believe it, can you imgine a person thats never met you would bring you a cake.. well this is what i most wanted to share.. one never knows where the niceties in life are coming.. So thanks steve, that was outstanding and if i never were to remember this birthday, now i will never forget.. one birthday, this one.. as i can hardly recall any of the others, nore do i care..
Any way, whatever your age, people put you in catigories, which are really off, actual dates do not make one older or younger, much of how we are has to do with how one approaches life, with vigor, or lack their of, i've meet people in their 30's that are old indeed, and and people like my mother that never aged, matured, but never lost, her youthful out look, much less her good looks, when she passed, last year, her bone density was the bone denity of a 50 year old woman.. so she was fit also.. that's just gentics.. or luck.. now i'm placed into some group that i definately don't fit into..i choose not to adjust to readily..
andrea and crew
this was published quiet after i wrote it.. i'll explain in my next post!
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Cinderella's Shoes
I wonder if I'll ever run out of things to write about..
New year, didn't even think to make a new years resolution, last years resolution will do.. focus on what you WANT not what you need.. lets hope if we all have a roof still over our heads, and food on the table, then are needs are met, but if we give up on what it is we want out of our lives, then we give in to survival and we start on the tread mill to hell..
so that resolution is what i'm sticking to.. and hows that working you ask? well, if this new years weekend were to be a any example, i'd say in many ways quite well.. I imagined how i wanted the weekend to go, in a variety of ways, some personal, and of course business wise, well the personal was just great, even might say met my every fantasy, more reunions, with many respected artisans, i've known a life time now, were there in fort myers.
I arrived friday after a lovely drive through alligator alley and up I-75 on such a nice sunny day.. met Willy, my earring partner, for 19 years, on the way, and we stood in a parking lot together for the first time in months, in person, and after a long heartfelt embrace, out came the paper and a search for a pen, to draw ideas, discuss the future of Up Your Ear, and on was i once again, the road under the tires of my rented chevy cargo, enterprise van. The radio, playing hits of today loudly, as i sang, pathetically to them, one romantic song after another.. I wonder if one ever gives up on that aspect of life, the romance part. It just seemed never to be in my script.. but like every fairy tale, ever written, i still believe..I can remember clearly at about 14-15 sitting in the stair well at Bancroft junior high silently crying, about just that, if my prince would come.. life was so hard then, maybe because i was 14 or so, and my dad and step mother were so truly awful, i was grounded at one point, 6 months straight for a variety of infractions, like not washing a coffee cup, or arriving from our neighbors house preciously 60 seconds late, that will be a month, that became consecutive months of restriction, over board to say the least..
at this stage I'm satisfied with brief moments of extreme joy, and for sure never take it for granted..
and so my weekend began, i arrived early to fort myers, and registered at the hotel, nearest the show, a one night reservation as i was on the wait list for this show also, no guarantee i would work..had a bowl of soup, onion, at TGI fridays, and a beer at the bar, met and befriended the beautiful bartender, Shane, and then went to the hotel, to change my clothes, my gray skinny jeans, a gray fitting sweater, and my magnificent shoes, from nine west, a treat, i gave myself for my birthday, Today, :)
Had dinner with my second family Gail and Greg, and their grown children Guy and Grant, whom i hadn't seen in so long.. it was great to see them, like cousins i've never had, now i do..
after dinner, i went back to my palace of a room, looked at my divine shoes and decided not to waste such great shoes, so off i went to the hotel bar, down the hall, to the lobby, where i went to the checkin counter and asked where the bar was, after directions, i thanked the young woman, and asked her name, as i always do, Her name was Ella. Huh.. i thought as i stood there, listening to the universe speak to me.. on new years eve.. sat in the only empty seat at the bar, next to as it turns out a pilot, yet another pilot, private.. flew a client in for the weekend.. and as the clock struck midnight my heart felt calls to my children, across the state, and off i was to my room, with both shoes in tact!!, couldn't sleep, or shut off my brain.. dozed off around 2am, fully dressed, so i wouldn't be crazy the next morn at 5am, three hours later, up and ready for my day of sales, which i did end up selling, if u call selling $150. worth of earrings selling.. dam
I did how ever have the delight of seeing the Royal family, the Prince, the Knight, oh and this weekend the King was there too.. and so royal are they, Marcy, i can only say, you must be the queen. how nice.. and as i bounced thoughts off of them, listened intently, to their thoughts, and take them seriously to heart, as i try not to fall into a tailspin of confusion, as to what to do with my life, business, and art.. on sunday after packing up what was slightly more successful a day, not much, but.. i went back to them to say good bye, for now, i brought a portfolio of photos Gleb took of me, many years ago, and as i was thinking to leave, as the knight and prince were packing, i felt i just couldn't leave them, i wanted to. but like cement, in my shoes, my feet would not move. and then something happened.. the king in his thrown, took from between my legs my portfolio, and placed it between his, as we continued to talk, now he was in possession of my time, holding me there, one more moment, and then i watched him put it, intently, on his lap, as our conversation continued. held there by his Majesty, willingly, as i felt, he too did not want to say good bye too soon.. what a warm feeling.. i can not express, no words in any language. till it was sadly time to go, the dusk far behind, now dark, our drives ahead, me 2 hours to ft lauderdale, they 2 hours to clearwater, or there abouts.(and on a side note, Peter suggested a school their in clearwater or sarasota, Booker high, as it turns out it is a performing arts school, highly accredited, the play they are putting on right now, Cinderella)
driving home, i got a call, continued from one earlier in the day, from my bookkeeper Rene's son Freddie, Dick her husband, the love of her life passed, suddenly to a long time illness, they never knew he had. and in a flash, he was gone.. my dear friend, i am so sorry for your loss. so yesterday, Madelines birthday also, i went to the grocery store, picked up supplies for making crepes for madeline and spaghetti sauce for them. with all my love i put in each ingredient, for crepes for my beloved madeline and oregano, basil garlic, onions and tomatoes, while cooking the pasta, and crepes.. i multi task!!
as i put it all together, ready to leave to visit, i'd called Freddie, a little earlier to ask if i should come by, and he said he'd speak to Rene, and as i got into the truck to go there i called again, and to his amazement, he'd just mentioned it to Rene, and she said have her come, in exactly that moment.. can u believe that.. and so i arrived, to be the only client, or person that wasn't family, and i held her tightly as she cried just a little..met the the family, i had heard all about, stayed a while, after she showed me around her lovely home which she and Dick had lived in, 45 years.
so again i am reminded, we r not promised tomorrow, each and everyday is precious, and i'm glad through toil and troubles to have each one.. to a lingering kiss, a warm embrace, to the courage we muster each day as we arise to meet and greet the day head on, mine today, my birthday. may this be the half way point between now and the end of my life on earth, continued, in good health surrounded by the love of friends, who have included me in their lives, like Rene.. Gail and Greg, Willy, the Royal family,nancy and bill, sheri, and her girls, and so many others, thank you..i am a better person for it.. and ever happier.. I smile as i see what the day unfolds for me. the one day i can say is mine and mine alone.. Thanks mom where ever u r on this fine day.. i love u
and to my crew, my devotion,
andrea
New year, didn't even think to make a new years resolution, last years resolution will do.. focus on what you WANT not what you need.. lets hope if we all have a roof still over our heads, and food on the table, then are needs are met, but if we give up on what it is we want out of our lives, then we give in to survival and we start on the tread mill to hell..
so that resolution is what i'm sticking to.. and hows that working you ask? well, if this new years weekend were to be a any example, i'd say in many ways quite well.. I imagined how i wanted the weekend to go, in a variety of ways, some personal, and of course business wise, well the personal was just great, even might say met my every fantasy, more reunions, with many respected artisans, i've known a life time now, were there in fort myers.
I arrived friday after a lovely drive through alligator alley and up I-75 on such a nice sunny day.. met Willy, my earring partner, for 19 years, on the way, and we stood in a parking lot together for the first time in months, in person, and after a long heartfelt embrace, out came the paper and a search for a pen, to draw ideas, discuss the future of Up Your Ear, and on was i once again, the road under the tires of my rented chevy cargo, enterprise van. The radio, playing hits of today loudly, as i sang, pathetically to them, one romantic song after another.. I wonder if one ever gives up on that aspect of life, the romance part. It just seemed never to be in my script.. but like every fairy tale, ever written, i still believe..I can remember clearly at about 14-15 sitting in the stair well at Bancroft junior high silently crying, about just that, if my prince would come.. life was so hard then, maybe because i was 14 or so, and my dad and step mother were so truly awful, i was grounded at one point, 6 months straight for a variety of infractions, like not washing a coffee cup, or arriving from our neighbors house preciously 60 seconds late, that will be a month, that became consecutive months of restriction, over board to say the least..
at this stage I'm satisfied with brief moments of extreme joy, and for sure never take it for granted..
and so my weekend began, i arrived early to fort myers, and registered at the hotel, nearest the show, a one night reservation as i was on the wait list for this show also, no guarantee i would work..had a bowl of soup, onion, at TGI fridays, and a beer at the bar, met and befriended the beautiful bartender, Shane, and then went to the hotel, to change my clothes, my gray skinny jeans, a gray fitting sweater, and my magnificent shoes, from nine west, a treat, i gave myself for my birthday, Today, :)
Had dinner with my second family Gail and Greg, and their grown children Guy and Grant, whom i hadn't seen in so long.. it was great to see them, like cousins i've never had, now i do..
after dinner, i went back to my palace of a room, looked at my divine shoes and decided not to waste such great shoes, so off i went to the hotel bar, down the hall, to the lobby, where i went to the checkin counter and asked where the bar was, after directions, i thanked the young woman, and asked her name, as i always do, Her name was Ella. Huh.. i thought as i stood there, listening to the universe speak to me.. on new years eve.. sat in the only empty seat at the bar, next to as it turns out a pilot, yet another pilot, private.. flew a client in for the weekend.. and as the clock struck midnight my heart felt calls to my children, across the state, and off i was to my room, with both shoes in tact!!, couldn't sleep, or shut off my brain.. dozed off around 2am, fully dressed, so i wouldn't be crazy the next morn at 5am, three hours later, up and ready for my day of sales, which i did end up selling, if u call selling $150. worth of earrings selling.. dam
I did how ever have the delight of seeing the Royal family, the Prince, the Knight, oh and this weekend the King was there too.. and so royal are they, Marcy, i can only say, you must be the queen. how nice.. and as i bounced thoughts off of them, listened intently, to their thoughts, and take them seriously to heart, as i try not to fall into a tailspin of confusion, as to what to do with my life, business, and art.. on sunday after packing up what was slightly more successful a day, not much, but.. i went back to them to say good bye, for now, i brought a portfolio of photos Gleb took of me, many years ago, and as i was thinking to leave, as the knight and prince were packing, i felt i just couldn't leave them, i wanted to. but like cement, in my shoes, my feet would not move. and then something happened.. the king in his thrown, took from between my legs my portfolio, and placed it between his, as we continued to talk, now he was in possession of my time, holding me there, one more moment, and then i watched him put it, intently, on his lap, as our conversation continued. held there by his Majesty, willingly, as i felt, he too did not want to say good bye too soon.. what a warm feeling.. i can not express, no words in any language. till it was sadly time to go, the dusk far behind, now dark, our drives ahead, me 2 hours to ft lauderdale, they 2 hours to clearwater, or there abouts.(and on a side note, Peter suggested a school their in clearwater or sarasota, Booker high, as it turns out it is a performing arts school, highly accredited, the play they are putting on right now, Cinderella)
driving home, i got a call, continued from one earlier in the day, from my bookkeeper Rene's son Freddie, Dick her husband, the love of her life passed, suddenly to a long time illness, they never knew he had. and in a flash, he was gone.. my dear friend, i am so sorry for your loss. so yesterday, Madelines birthday also, i went to the grocery store, picked up supplies for making crepes for madeline and spaghetti sauce for them. with all my love i put in each ingredient, for crepes for my beloved madeline and oregano, basil garlic, onions and tomatoes, while cooking the pasta, and crepes.. i multi task!!
as i put it all together, ready to leave to visit, i'd called Freddie, a little earlier to ask if i should come by, and he said he'd speak to Rene, and as i got into the truck to go there i called again, and to his amazement, he'd just mentioned it to Rene, and she said have her come, in exactly that moment.. can u believe that.. and so i arrived, to be the only client, or person that wasn't family, and i held her tightly as she cried just a little..met the the family, i had heard all about, stayed a while, after she showed me around her lovely home which she and Dick had lived in, 45 years.
so again i am reminded, we r not promised tomorrow, each and everyday is precious, and i'm glad through toil and troubles to have each one.. to a lingering kiss, a warm embrace, to the courage we muster each day as we arise to meet and greet the day head on, mine today, my birthday. may this be the half way point between now and the end of my life on earth, continued, in good health surrounded by the love of friends, who have included me in their lives, like Rene.. Gail and Greg, Willy, the Royal family,nancy and bill, sheri, and her girls, and so many others, thank you..i am a better person for it.. and ever happier.. I smile as i see what the day unfolds for me. the one day i can say is mine and mine alone.. Thanks mom where ever u r on this fine day.. i love u
and to my crew, my devotion,
andrea
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